Rendered Immobile (bling, title, quote, song, Erhu)

Sneer · 02-15-2007, 03:55 PM

Rendered immobile
Flummoxed with grief
Discordant retentions of blasé belief
Pious ramblings
Bludgeoned till dead
A nuance of grey coats the richest of red.
Haughty delinquents
Splattered in blame
Seeds of denial cloud the towers of shame
Banal resistance
Fades once again
The tumult subsides all efforts invain.

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 02-15-2007, 04:47 PM

What the hell is this about? It seems way too pretentious, and it bores.

right-track · 02-15-2007, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

What the hell is this about? It seems way too pretentious, and it bores.

From someone who's 'location' is "In The Realms of Poetry" to call this pretentious and to say it bores...is a tad rich.

Try reading 3 lines at a time, then attempt to understand what Stu has gone to the trouble of posting.

Baby steps, PaperHurricanesAndPlanes...baby steps.

ZeppelinAir · 02-15-2007, 05:50 PM

i like it, it has a dark feel to it and it flows pretty well. you should do more like this one

skindredluver · 02-15-2007, 05:56 PM

I dont know what its about but I like the ryhming

Sneer · 02-15-2007, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

What the hell is this about? It seems way too pretentious, and it bores.

dont call me pretentious when you quote your own poetry in your signature.

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 02-15-2007, 06:46 PM

Hey, I didn't quote my own poetry. That's a Bad Religion song. And "Compassion Through Heresy" was a motto before it was a title of one of my poems. How is "In the realms of poetry" pretentious?

Crowe · 02-15-2007, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu

dont call me pretentious when you quote your own poetry in your signature.

YEAH! WHO IN THE HELL DOES THAT???

Crowe · 02-15-2007, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu

Rendered immobile
Flummoxed with grief
Discordant retentions of blasé belief
Pious ramblings
Bludgeoned till dead
A nuance of grey coats the richest of red.
Haughty delinquents
Splattered in blame
Seeds of denial cloud the towers of shame
Banal resistance
Fades once again
The tumult subsides all efforts invain.

I hate that word. Otherwise I enjoy the brief manner of each line... YOU LIKE MY DUBBLE POST GUYZ?

sleepy jack · 02-15-2007, 11:22 PM

I second that disliking of flummoxed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

What the hell is this about? It seems way too pretentious, and it bores.

Your critiques are way too pretentious and so arrogant they're almost pointless to read. Seriously, turn the elitism down a notch.

02-15-2007, 03:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sneer Let it drip Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 5,430	Rendered Immobile Rendered immobile Flummoxed with grief Discordant retentions of blasé belief Pious ramblings Bludgeoned till dead A nuance of grey coats the richest of red. Haughty delinquents Splattered in blame Seeds of denial cloud the towers of shame Banal resistance Fades once again The tumult subsides all efforts invain. __________________ LastFM Sneer's Emporium of Sound Fright Team radio show

02-15-2007, 05:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
ZeppelinAir Long time no see Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: somewhere in Michigan Posts: 512	i like it, it has a dark feel to it and it flows pretty well. you should do more like this one __________________ not that old signature

02-15-2007, 05:56 PM	#5 (permalink)
skindredluver Im Just As Sweet!!!:) Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: america Posts: 570	I dont know what its about but I like the ryhming __________________ Let them live in the stillness and know the flame. They will loose all and give all.. Boys are like lava lamps: fun to look at but not so bright Coffee, chocolate and men, some things are just better rich