A Note on the Inside (Muse)

Sneer · 02-15-2007, 03:48 PM

I cannot stand these feelings that,
Cause me to plan my every day,
Because of them my heart is flat,
My loved ones are the ones that pay,
I understand the formulas,
But from them I have no reward,
I know what every program does,
And from my muse I am assured,
Its for the future of our lives,
This must be done - this is required,
I have to question, is this strife?
And all the pain that I've acquired
Worth the destruction of my heart
Or should I play another part

ZeppelinAir · 02-15-2007, 05:40 PM

well it kept reading pretty easly, its got pretty good rhyming, but there was something about it that was a little dull, but i cant exactly say what

sleepy jack · 02-15-2007, 11:26 PM

I cannot stand these feelings that,
Cause me to plan my every day,
Because of them my heart is flat,

Those three lines were just really blegh, the rest is solid though.

02-15-2007, 03:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sneer Let it drip Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 5,430	A Note on the Inside I cannot stand these feelings that, Cause me to plan my every day, Because of them my heart is flat, My loved ones are the ones that pay, I understand the formulas, But from them I have no reward, I know what every program does, And from my muse I am assured, Its for the future of our lives, This must be done - this is required, I have to question, is this strife? And all the pain that I've acquired Worth the destruction of my heart Or should I play another part __________________ LastFM Sneer's Emporium of Sound Fright Team radio show

02-15-2007, 05:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
ZeppelinAir Long time no see Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: somewhere in Michigan Posts: 512	well it kept reading pretty easly, its got pretty good rhyming, but there was something about it that was a little dull, but i cant exactly say what __________________ not that old signature