Strummer521

I was exaggerating. Just using an example (and choosing Wilde because He seems to be most noted for that characteristic out of all writers, and is considered a paradox himself) to say that the paradox is difficult to pull off, and it seemed to disrupt my mind from the general flow of the poem because it registered as conspicuous and was very distracting. It seemed like something just added because he liked the fact that he knew the word "cacophony" and wanted to use it. The idea of silence being loud is a bit tired to me, and good vocabulary words don't enhance its level of poetic quality.

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Sneer

i said at the start this was an experimentation, repetition and paradox is something i do not use enough and i was trying to introduce both into this poem. i didnt use 'cacophony' just for the fact its a good word, i used it because it described the situation i was in at the time, the silence was deafening and creating an absolute tumult in my head. Its something i distinctly remember about the situation. Nevertheless, i appreciate your points.

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skindredluver

Its good but you should use more descriptive words!But I shouldnt be the one to say cause I suck

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Let them live in the stillness and know the flame. They will loose all and give all..

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to look at but not so bright

Coffee, chocolate and men, some things are just better rich

Strummer521

I'm not trying to be a jerk, by the way. I have a hard time offering honest feedback that attempts to make a clear and logical point without offending people at the same time.

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Sneer

never thought you was, as i said, i appreciate the posts. You cant improve on something unless you know what to improve on. id say exactly the same thing if you wrote a substandard piece.

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Strummer521

Ok. Because people seem to get very sensitive sometimes and so I wonder if they really want feedback. Good to know you can take it. And of course, you don't have to agree with it.

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Crowe

I have to apologize for being kind of defensive with you, I couldn't tell if you were just trying to act intelligent or actually were, it seems you are the latter.

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