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(i'm not good at titles) untitled #3 (i'm not good at titles) untitled #3 (single, Hang)
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Old 02-07-2007, 07:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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It's not bad, the rhyming structure doesn't match the tone of the poem, it's drifty and sort of plays on the eyes to make them jump and skip through the lines.
The poem seems much more somber.
From the words you used, I gathered it to be highly metaphorical, it's an interesting read with good vocabulary.
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Last edited by Trauma; 02-07-2007 at 08:17 PM.
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