You kinda have to look at this, don't you? (song, Hang)

TrampInaTux · 01-18-2007, 01:37 PM

I looked in the mirror and saw myself fourty years older,
veins so blue that only my bitter eyes looked colder
So I shun the drink, throw back the drugs,
the cigarettes, and the life of a thug
rethink my actions til my outlook changes
when we're young, we go through phases.
Who're you admiring? Y'know they're no good
if they were, would they,
be living in this neighbourhood?
So I shun the drink, throw back the drugs,
the cigarettes, and the life of a thug
and since then...

early mornings became easy
late nights would no longer tease me
I could look at that man in the mirror and say "no,
from now on I'll be my own hero"

I couldn't be arsed to complete it. So yeah. Like it?

sleepy jack · 01-18-2007, 01:39 PM

This, reminds me of a song I recently heard, well just the last bit mainly. Its good, finishitit! When you feel better.

~nutshell~ · 01-18-2007, 01:48 PM

I like it a lot.

Alo · 01-18-2007, 01:58 PM

I like it. But this part:

''rethink my actions til my outlook changes''

is a bit repetitive of the part before. You rethought your actions and shunned the alcohol, threw away the drugs etc... So maybe turn that into the past tense?

''when we're young, we go through phases.''

This is quite necesary for the next line, but I don't really like the sound of it compared to the rest. But I can't really think of anything better, someone else may have a suggestion.

01-18-2007, 01:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	You kinda have to look at this, don't you? I looked in the mirror and saw myself fourty years older, veins so blue that only my bitter eyes looked colder So I shun the drink, throw back the drugs, the cigarettes, and the life of a thug rethink my actions til my outlook changes when we're young, we go through phases. Who're you admiring? Y'know they're no good if they were, would they, be living in this neighbourhood? So I shun the drink, throw back the drugs, the cigarettes, and the life of a thug and since then... early mornings became easy late nights would no longer tease me I could look at that man in the mirror and say "no, from now on I'll be my own hero" I couldn't be arsed to complete it. So yeah. Like it?

01-18-2007, 01:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
~nutshell~ Music Addict Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 103	I like it a lot. __________________ Just not enough. I need more. Nothing seems to satisfy. I said, I don't want it. I just need it. To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

01-18-2007, 01:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
Alo Scarf Join Date: May 2006 Location: Brighton, UK Posts: 715	I like it. But this part: ''rethink my actions til my outlook changes'' is a bit repetitive of the part before. You rethought your actions and shunned the alcohol, threw away the drugs etc... So maybe turn that into the past tense? ''when we're young, we go through phases.'' This is quite necesary for the next line, but I don't really like the sound of it compared to the rest. But I can't really think of anything better, someone else may have a suggestion. __________________ I rocked my shoelaces untied