No title yet (punk, rock, sex pistols, songs, Ching)

Blain · 01-01-2007, 07:06 PM

C’mon! We’ll start a revolution!
C’mon! Your final retribution!
The crimes at dawn,
The blood on your hands
All shall be gone
As we overthrow this nation

We can’t buy freedom
But we risk losing it
We let one crime slide
An innocent bystander suffers,
So raise your hands in the air,
Start clenching your fists.
Today, it gets hard,
Today, we start to resist.

C’mon! We’ll start a revolution!
C’mon! Your final retribution!
The crimes at dawn,
The blood on your hands
All shall be gone
As we overthrow this nation…
C’mon! We’ll start a revolution!
C’mon! Your final retribution!

All I got so far, Ima add more on later

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 01-02-2007, 11:58 PM

This reminds me so much of my first songs...And just like mine, it's shit. First off, the repetition is frickin' appalling. The only okay rhyme is fists/resists. Only because they aren't in AA form. You lack any form of innovation, that could set this apart from crap punk groups like the Casualties and the Sex Pistols. Brush up on literary techniques and such. Don't worry, we all start out like this. Just keep pluggin'.

tokyogal87 · 01-04-2007, 08:34 AM

is a rock song?
i think is good, but you have to finished it right? Paper Hurricans said that is ****, i don't think it like that but I'm sure that keep on continuing writing it you will modificate some part. write a song need a long process. I write songs as well as some are incomplete because I need the inspiration. anyway I?m waiting to see all the song complete and I'll tell you what i think about it.

skindredluver · 01-04-2007, 06:59 PM

Ohhhh blainka thats the best song so far.I really like it its awsome

~~[MERIT]~~ · 01-04-2007, 07:35 PM

Blainka, I'll go out on a limb and say you were listening to RATM as you wrote that?

Blain · 01-04-2007, 08:40 PM

It's nowhere near finished yet, and Oojay, a bit of Rise Against and RATM yes. Good guess

tdoc210 · 01-04-2007, 09:57 PM

cliche, overdone, and otherwise fine

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 01-04-2007, 10:34 PM

RA and RATM are awesome.

01-01-2007, 07:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
Blain w0rd Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Suva, Fiji Posts: 1,034	No title yet C’mon! We’ll start a revolution! C’mon! Your final retribution! The crimes at dawn, The blood on your hands All shall be gone As we overthrow this nation We can’t buy freedom But we risk losing it We let one crime slide An innocent bystander suffers, So raise your hands in the air, Start clenching your fists. Today, it gets hard, Today, we start to resist. C’mon! We’ll start a revolution! C’mon! Your final retribution! The crimes at dawn, The blood on your hands All shall be gone As we overthrow this nation… C’mon! We’ll start a revolution! C’mon! Your final retribution! All I got so far, Ima add more on later

01-04-2007, 06:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
skindredluver Im Just As Sweet!!!:) Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: america Posts: 570	Ohhhh blainka thats the best song so far.I really like it its awsome __________________ Let them live in the stillness and know the flame. They will loose all and give all.. Boys are like lava lamps: fun to look at but not so bright Coffee, chocolate and men, some things are just better rich

01-04-2007, 09:57 PM	#7 (permalink)
tdoc210 ashes against the grain Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: new hampsha Posts: 2,617	cliche, overdone, and otherwise fine __________________ We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that.

01-04-2007, 08:34 AM	#3 (permalink)
tokyogal87 Groupie Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: italy Posts: 1	is a rock song? i think is good, but you have to finished it right? Paper Hurricans said that is ****, i don't think it like that but I'm sure that keep on continuing writing it you will modificate some part. write a song need a long process. I write songs as well as some are incomplete because I need the inspiration. anyway I?m waiting to see all the song complete and I'll tell you what i think about it.

01-04-2007, 07:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
~~[MERIT]~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Missouri, USA Posts: 4,814	Blainka, I'll go out on a limb and say you were listening to RATM as you wrote that?

01-04-2007, 08:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
Blain w0rd Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Suva, Fiji Posts: 1,034	It's nowhere near finished yet, and Oojay, a bit of Rise Against and RATM yes. Good guess