xcult_classicx

this car only runs as fast as time can take us,
moving endlessly without a sense of direction.

the silence of these car seats wrapped the two of us in the same blanket,
a blanket of letters kept in the pockets of their senders.

if this was a war of blank stares and false starts,
then i guess we would be armed to the teeth.

with heads against the window and eyes set to the other side,
the silence was broken with two short messages, one from the stopping car, the second from me, the first being:

1.the ride is over, i'm out of gas

and the second:

2.in this chest beats a sober heart once drunk with a love meant to last forever, a forever whose span was counted in weeks and months.

this car only ran as fast as time took us,
and we moved endlessly without direction.

we're out of gas, dear. the ride is over.

sleepy jack

Awesome, one thing though.

"the silence of these car seats wrapped the two of us in the same blanket,
a blanket of letters kept in the pockets of their senders."

Change the blanket of letter parts, it doesn't sound that great and you use blanket twice in the same verse thing.

__________________

xcult_classicx

^^^
wow, i didn't notice that. O_O




this car only runs as fast as time can take us,
moving endlessly without a sense of direction.

the silence of these car seats wrapped the two of us in the same blanket,
with the muted voices of letters kept in the pockets of their senders.

if this was a war of blank stares and false starts,
then i guess we would be armed to the teeth.

with heads against the window and eyes set to the other side,
the silence was broken with two short messages, one from the stopping car, the second from me, the first being:

1.the ride is over, i'm out of gas

and the second:

2.in this chest beats a sober heart once drunk with a love meant to last forever, a forever whose span was counted in weeks and months.

this car only ran as fast as time took us,
and we moved endlessly without direction.

we're out of gas, dear. the ride is over.


is that better?

sleepy jack

Yes, much better. I like it

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xcult_classicx

yay! thanks dude. :P