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11-23-2006, 11:52 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Idontthinkyouknow
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Out of the Frying Pan
Posts: 102
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Until That Day
I hear whisperings of all the things that you used to love
but you don't look back down that track until her push comes to shove you can't deny her, as she drags you away in reverse of her curse, brings you back to yesterday now I'm stranded here with all your fears and tide is high there's no more gold, or so I'm told, and all the wells have run dry we need to move on, before we drown in this lie and the more we stay here, my dear, the more the chance that we might die CHORUS and I say oh unto you we'll come back for you someday you won't know where or when you won't know until that day I'm wandering through all the things that you used to need but since it's died and you've cried it's the anger you feed you like to know what's at the end of the road 'cause when you're back on that track it can be hard to let go I hear whisperings of all the things that you used to love but now that it's died and you've cried it's the next loved one you'll shove all the time you used to shine-- all the while you used to smile-- all that time you were mine, tell me where did it go --lost in a part of, someone you used to know --back in the grave of the past that's at the end of that road --'cause when I'm back on that track you know that I don't let go CHORUS
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11-23-2006, 09:25 PM | #2 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 699
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Technically it's sound. But I feel like it could use a little bit of focus, your style seems to change mid-piece and there is a lot going on - a sort of musical ADD. HOWEVER, this is not a bad thing and what I am spouting out is merely self - preference, other songs with similar attributes have gone on to achieve glorious status. See: Bohemian Rhapsody.
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11-24-2006, 11:36 AM | #3 (permalink) |
Idontthinkyouknow
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Out of the Frying Pan
Posts: 102
|
These were tough to write, and I sort of sensed the same thing, that's why I posted them here. But my greater fear was that certain parts might not make sense. If all they are is a little disjointed feeling then I think I can live with that though.
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