Even Superheroes Fall Victim to the Daily Grind (lyrics, quote)

DontRunMeOver · 10-12-2006, 11:22 AM

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"These bills get me down" he groans
As he flies toward the centre of the pacific
To stem yet another horrific
Earthquake, stopping it from rending the globe
He forms a humanoid bore,
A makeshift drillbit
To penetrate the very core of the earth
To vent the pressure, to avert the disaster
A tectonic event for his platonic love of humankind
He forces a tunnel
The lava flows through
And into the depths of the sea
He watches with melancholy
He thinks "maybe one day I should become the disaster
In the hope that someone might vent the pressure in me

But my boss pushes me around
And these bills get me down
My boss pushes me around
And these bills get me down"

He works full weeks, on five hours sleep
And soon his goals are redefined
Its hard to keep, so hard to keep
This heroic frame of mind
A second life becomes a vice
When you can't pay the bills on time
It seems that even superheroes
Fall victim to the daily grind

enemyat_thesix · 10-12-2006, 11:32 PM

I really like it; it's something people don't generally think about when they dream of being a superhero. I picture HORSE the Band singing it. And that's a good thing.

However, I think you could work on your grammar and punctuation. For example:

Quote:

"These bills get me down" he groans
As he flies toward the centre of the pacific
To stem yet another horrific
Earthquake, stopping it from rending the globe
He forms a humanoid bore,
A makeshift drillbit
To penetrate the very core of the earth
To vent the pressure, to avert the disaster
A tectonic event for his platonic love of humankind
He forces a tunnel

"These bills get me down," he groans
as he flies toward the centre of the Pacific
to stem yet another horrific
earthquake; to stop it from rending the globe
he forms a humanoid bore,
a makeshift drillbit
to penetrate the very core of the earth;
to vent the pressure; to avert the disaster --
a tectonic event for his platonic love of humankind --
he forces a tunnel.

Or, if you prefer, you could break it down into several sentences. I often get carried away with my semi-colons.

sleepy jack · 10-13-2006, 02:50 PM

rending the globe sounds kind of funny, but thats probaly because i've heard rending used like twice...

Also, I think "The lava flows through into the depths of the sea" would sound better, then if it had the and in it.

Its good not my favorite by you but still good.