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10-08-2006, 01:22 AM | #1 (permalink) |
snickers
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: detroit
Posts: 2,194
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The Sun Glows In My Heart
I'd like some comments on this please.
This is about a girl that I've liked for such a long time. Before you left we made out
Back when the fire was burning I threw another log on to be all about Fun- but we knew that log would never rot We always knew it wouldn’t get old Live to see the green mornings with mist on the leaves Feel the wind on it's bark, while laughing, even in the cold At old jokes that are only between friends Tonight while I sat down hard, thinking You left that tree to burn- With me Your ship won’t amount to anything more than sinking You will never remember the mornings Bright early mornings when the sun rises above the window sill Watching the dew roll casually off the leaves of the pines Smiling- Waiting for the day to come and still Keeping watch over us- Young and happy to be together How could that work when you’re trying to pretend That everyone is always happy and warm inside Still trying to race your whole life to the end Scraping your feet and knees on the cold pavement along the way Don’t think that the sun notices every blade of grass on a lawn It promises to put a smile on our faces everyday But even so, I notice, that you are already gone Burning quickly in the atmosphere, burning away If I were the sun, I could have you every second you were awake Encompassing your body and gently glowing into your soul Making you happy and warm inside- So incredibly warm that you would shake, and Never be cold as long as I lived A fraction is all that I am without you There will be no fucking life after this with better circumstances We should be friends, right now, and do what friends do If I were inside you we would glow like the heat of a thousand suns But you’re gone- you got up and didn’t see That the fire was still burning Only the fire was inside of me Never will I taste, touch, feel, or hold you Hold those bright early mornings with a kiss Feel you by my side as we laugh together Touch the glow inside of your hot fire, crackling with a hiss Taste the heat between us as you move slowly up and down Up and down like the sun- Waiting for the moon to arrive When it is only one night away from being whole again But the night is long and will never pass while I’m still alive I want you so bad right now the moon feels like it will stay forever
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A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño |
10-08-2006, 11:52 PM | #4 (permalink) |
Full-Time Hellion
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 1,531
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It feels like you've taken one of my fantasies and put it on paper.
Last stanza is one of the sexiest, romantic things I've ever read. It sounds ok. (very very extremely ok) but . . I dunno. I say go for it.
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A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche |
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