ZeppelinAir

this is a new one i just finished with, the lyrics came out of the blue so they are some what odd,

Mistakes I Made

I wake and raise my aching head,
Wonder how I got here and where the hell I been,
Don’t what I m doin, or has been done,
All know is midnight sun,

Haven’t been home for days,
Cant even remember where home is,
See the waves in the grass,
And sit an wonder how much time has passed,

Follow the empty road to nowhere,
That’s where you will find me,
Sittn by the tree and thinking of all I seen,
And what is left to see,

Lost and found by the hell hound,
Dragged away from what I have known,
By the stupid mistakes I made,
Hoping I will see another day,

Now all I do is wander,
Around this lonely world,
Hoping to find some one that I can help,
Hoping that will make up for the mistakes I made,

Heaven don’t want me,
Hell wont take me,
I hate the weight I have to carry
The weight of the mistakes that I have made,

Follow the empty road to nowhere,
That’s where you will find me,
Sittn by the tree and thinking of all I seen,
And what is left to see,

Lost and found by the hell hound,
Dragged away from what I have known,
By the stupid mistakes I made,
Hoping I will see another day,

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not that old signature

Ace

For some reason I find myself being reminded of Stone Sour's Omega.
Change the I's to I've's. Other than that, I really like it.
Good work.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by RezZ I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.

ZeppelinAir

thanks, i will see how the changes work

__________________
not that old signature

Ace

Not all the I's. Just the ones like "where the hell I been", and "thinking of all I seen", to I've. But it's still good, nonetheless.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by RezZ I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.

ZeppelinAir

ok here it i, i think i caught them all, and a few other changes,

Mistakes Made

I wake and raise my aching head,
Wonder how I got here and where the hell I’ve been,
Don’t what I m doin, or has been done,
All know is midnight sun,

Haven’t been home for days,
Cant even remember where home is,
See the waves in the grass,
And sit an wonder how much time has passed,

Follow the empty road to nowhere,
That’s where you will find me,
Sittn by the tree and thinking of all I seen,
And what is left to see,

Lost and found by the hell hound,
Dragged away from what I‘ve known,
By the stupid mistakes made,
Hoping I will see another day,

Now all I do is wander,
Around this lonely world,
Hoping to find some one that I can help,
Hoping that will make up for the mistakes made,

Heaven don’t want me,
Hell wont take me,
I hate the weight I’ve to carry
The weight of the mistakes that I’ve made,

Follow the empty road to nowhere,
That’s where you will find me,
Sittn by the tree and thinking of all I’ve seen,
And what is left to see,

Lost and found by the hell hound,
Dragged away from what I’ve known,
By the stupid mistakes made,
Hoping I will see another day

mistakes made sounds better than then mistakes i made, agreed

__________________
not that old signature

Ace

Don’t what I m doin, or has been done, make that what has been done.
And add the word know back there^. I think you just left that out by accident.
I hate the weight I’ve to carry, you can leave that one as I have.
And I actually liked Mistakes I Made better. But just those minor changes, and it's all good from there.

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by RezZ I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.

ZeppelinAir

the original title it is then, and i knew somthing didnt feel right with that just didnt catch it at the time

__________________
not that old signature

ZeppelinAir

ok, the changes that you suggested are made, it does seem to flow better thanks

__________________
not that old signature

Ace

Don't mention it, and nice work.

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by RezZ I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.

dirt mcgirt

ayo, id replace the word 'mistakes' with 'cakes'

dont mention it son.