dear world
 

dear world,do you see what you're doin to me?
there's tears on my face,oh cant you see?
you know whats wrong with the picture we see
so why are we letting this maddness be?
theres gunshots and knife blades all around
please stop crying, i cant stand the sound
parents and children are starving to death
there's addictions to coke and chrystal meth
suicide and murder, everywhere you look
perverts lookin' for a child to abduct
people everywhere are dyin of AIDS
your friends gettin' shot in city arcades
we see parents beating small lil' children
and women turn ***,for a fear of men
but men they say,should never cry
and if they do, there friends say goodbye
you say a world of peace is what we seek
why are we so scared to stand up and speak?
friends and family are being used
helpless animals are being abused
alone and scared a father cries
but there's no comfort when a child dies
a single mother is hurting and sick
with an addiction she cannot kick
somewhere in this world i know there's kindness
if we believe in ourselves, we can clean up this mess
this world cant change unless we want it to
you know in your heart these words are true
so dear world,listen to the words i say
help me make our world okay

Has Ma Cherie made a new account then realized she isn't the only one with problems I don't care about?

so here i am readin about a man who cant rap
but i dont care if his lyrics are crap

AABB is a boring rhyme scheme. To top it off you've hit us with such underdeveloped and poorly thought out ideas and word choice that I can't help but laugh at your attempt to create poetry.

Hey, you posted your song here for my opinion on it. I'll be more blunt about it.

Your song or poem or whatever. Is garbage, you try and look deep and serious by attacking multiple issues at once which really just looks like chaotic crap all piled into one in this form. Its too straight-forward a boring read, and was a complete waste of my time to read it. It sucks, I don't like it one bit.

Unfortunately, I read that.

Honestly?

Slow down. Don't address a million different issues in one piece.

And, remember, it doesn't have to rhyme. K? K.

these lyrics suck. try harder or stop.

i aint tryin....there is a jerk here who just doent accept the fact that im here to get opinions...im not a rapper, but i want to learn how i can become one....i write poetry....this crowquill guy or whoever he is cant get the fact that i didnt even post this in a rapping battle thingy(whatever they are called) hes been making fun of me all night....so whoever wants to be nice and help out i would appreciate it...im not here to "battle".....thanks to "spinning" for the honest opinion...i thought they had to rhyme....