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-   -   Not actually a lyric yet... (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/18053-not-actually-lyric-yet.html)

DontRunMeOver 08-14-2006 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track
^ Rattling off your grievences there...an idea for a chorus??

Daaaamn. Do you charge for these workshops? This is really helpful!

right-track 08-14-2006 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DontRunMeOver
Daaaamn. Do you charge for these workshops? This is really helpful!

Really?
My mind cast back to when you asked about sound recordings on tracks, on another thread.
When you posted this one, I could imagine in my minds eye...the intro having young upper-middle class dinner table style chatter (including horsey type, haw haw laughter...if you get the drift.) on the subject of your song...like an example of the point you want to make. And then it fading out for the music.

I have an over active imagination. :(

DontRunMeOver 08-15-2006 10:30 AM

So I've got two choruses for it, both with the same tune. My idea is to have the main part of the song being about the action of of colonisation, writing it from within history and painting the typical selfish colonial picture of going over and stealing etc... but past the halfway mark, the song will become about how we have benefitted from that colonisation and will start to pose the idea that actually, we might be hypocrites to live a daily life which benefits from those past actions while condemning those same actions. Give the song a twist ;).



An hundred days
On a creaking wooden ship
Unfriendly waves
A punishment for vision

In distant climes
There's hidden wealth
Which we will find
Then we might feed our children well

We did not come for glory
We did not come for fame
We came from the depths of poverty
In the hope our lives would change
Escape a life of debtors
Of living hand to mouth
Of mispelled begging letters
(And something that rhymes here... doodoodoo)


We came here
To colonise
We see this land
Through hungry eyes
We will take
What we can take
Now our ethics and god
Are far away
So far away


Now I stake my claim over land that is not mine
Please allow this act of theft, to be forgotten over time

Now I stake my claim over land that is not mine
Please allow this act of theft, to be forgotten over time



To renounces these evils
We would be hypocrites
While we are cradled
By the benefits
When you grip that mobile
In that righteous fist
Remind yourself
"It was exploitation that paid for this"


And its not just about the right-on hippy-rich, although it applies to them best.

DontRunMeOver 08-15-2006 04:47 PM

Bump.

C'mon guys. Lets get Tom a bit of help here...

... then I can get this song out of the way and work on my next masterpiece, for which I already have a title. It'll be called.

"Sweaty mosh pits make Rock Chicks wet"

And you know you want to help out with that one.


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