Alo

I tried reading it very fast, and something really rappy came out. Was it intended that way? If so, I think the end is an anticlimax because it feels like you're building up tension. And then just end up drunk and (how I see this scenario) puking... Might want to add a bit more power to the last part. Though the instruments could also do this for you.

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I rocked my shoelaces untied