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Something Perfect
When I finally find someone perfect
I wonder if all of this sh!t will be worth it Will it all add up to make this much better? Or will I regret what I went through to get her? And this is assuming that someone is truly Going to be there when I get through this But so far it seems life isn't just for me So far it seems like its randomly happening Maybe dreams just keep us all trying to Keep us from falling, from failing and dying No guarentees that they aren't all lying No guarentees that you wont die hiding I'll set my goals modestly in reach Just to be able to raise a good family Someone who's worth it will just make me happy No guarentees but I...still dream. |
This song's generally a lot better than the, um, other one of yours I just critiqued. Needs a chorus/hookline, you could use this one of yours
"Maybe dreams just keep us all trying to Keep us from falling, from failing and dying No guarentees that they aren't all lying No guarentees that you wont die hiding" Or maybe just the first two lines of that "Maybe dreams just keep us all trying to Keep us from falling, from failing and dying Maybe dreams just keep us all trying to Keep us from falling, from failing and dying" Or something a bit shorter and simpler. Do it! |
I couldn't even get through it. There are a thousand songs just like this. And you go from one thing to another, which don't really seem related. Kind of messy. And I also agree with Don'tRunMeOver, try that, and then let it be reviewed again.
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