Blain

I thought I might try this out...

The scythe of death rises,
As it shimmers in the sky,
It was then when I saw,
My life before my eyes,
I had realised what I wasted,
The trouble I had caused,
But by then I was at peace,
Watching in total awe.

Chorus
With the sharp edge,
Of that scythe of grousome death,
It is then that you discover,
The meaning of all that's left

The things that have been mistaken,
All we thought we knew,
It is after being taken,
You discover what we do.

As the reaper looms,
Above your watery eyes,
We gain awesome knowledge,
To fill our eager minds,
havn't we all wondered,
Why god made death,
Why god made existence,
Just to watch us perish...

Chorus
With the sharp edge,
Of that scythe of grousome death,
It is then that you discover,
The meaning of all that's left

The things that have been mistaken,
All we thought we knew,
It is after being taken,
You discover what we do.

And that's all I got at the moment... Lol I feel so lame

DontRunMeOver

A lot of the individual phrases seem pretty clunky, too many syllables or too many unneeded filler words perhaps. For example -

"The meaning of all that's left"
tries to force too much into one line. Perhaps you have a way of making this work, rhytmically, but I'd guess it will sound overcrowded. Likewise:

"The things that have been mistaken,
does the same. You've managed to get the general idea of the lyric across well and the rhymes and having stuck in any stinkingly cliched or naff phrases*, so its improving the 'flow' of the lyric that you should look at first.


(*None that annoy me, anyway. Maybe singing about the 'Reaper' smells a bit of Iron Maiden, but then a lot of people think that's a decent enough subject.)

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