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06-08-2006, 10:40 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Long time no see
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: somewhere in Michigan
Posts: 512
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Heaven in Haze
heres mine, still rough though,
Heaven in Haze Life it seems may drift away in a cloud of dreams haze, Thoughts of death and hate fills his mind, Trying to find his way out of this nightmares maze, Always seeking what you cant find, Picture of your love faded away in the word from the haze, Sorrow strike your image of Shangri-la, As you lose his way the maze of haze, The pain makes him drop down and cry, Just to scream why me oh god why me, Image of happiness drift away in the cloud of haze, All hope is lost through the open eye, Through the dark he sees the light, While the shadows tear at his soul, Feels the pain of his wound below, Then the voice says come with me, And find what you seek, His eyes see the gates and the darkness fades.
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not that old signature |
06-08-2006, 11:45 PM | #6 (permalink) | |||||
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Hot-lanta
Posts: 3,140
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Is it "him" or "you" make up your mind. It doesn't sound good, and it doesn't make sense to the listener. Quote:
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You seem to have given up on your rhyme sceme. From what I interperate, he is decending into heaven...correct? Then why are shadows tearing at his soul? How did he die in the first place? Where did his "wound" come from It doesn't make sense. |
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06-08-2006, 11:55 PM | #8 (permalink) |
Account Disabled
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Hot-lanta
Posts: 3,140
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I probably could, but is that really relavent?
Do I have to be an athlete to recognize that someone is a horrible at baseball? Do I have to be an artist to recognize that someones painting is terrible? That is the biggest cop-out argument. Also, was to blow off a critism |
06-08-2006, 11:59 PM | #10 (permalink) | |
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Hot-lanta
Posts: 3,140
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Haha, I think some part of your f*cked up mind only reads certain parts of posts.
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