Frances (Kurt Cobain, member, songs, Ching, hands)

TrampInaTux · 06-02-2006, 04:34 AM

Frances is caught up on looks
Dirty drugs and lazy hooks
Living the life through his idols eyes
Sensitivity is just a disguise
Voices echo and faces blur
Hands melt over where his once were
All this love to give, but none for himself
Love for the art but none for his health
Teaching was impossible
Failure was probable
He fought the odds and how he won
but now Frances is staring down the barrel of a gun

Frances is hung up on tales
How to go out with a bang when you fail
how to be remembered, how to grab fame
How, in years time, he could stay in the frame
Robert had intelligence no school could teach
But there was a darkness, that nothing could bleach
Heralded now as one of the greats
Through stars and shimmers he smiles at his fate
Destiny called and he took the chance
For he knows, in his life, there was only one romance.
He fought the odds and how he won
but now Frances is staring down the barrel of a gun

Have a guess what this is about. I've bolded the clue to help you out.

sleepy jack · 06-02-2006, 01:57 PM

KURT COBAIN, I think. 'Cause frances is his kid, and like I figured it out by the first verse. Bolding bleach did help clarify it though..

TrampInaTux · 06-03-2006, 03:52 AM

Well done, give yourself a brownie.

Frances · 06-03-2006, 04:03 AM

Maw, and I thought it was about me.............

TrampInaTux · 06-03-2006, 04:07 AM

Yeah, because that's a hobby of mine... writing songs about random strangers I've met throught the Internet...

Frances · 06-03-2006, 04:09 AM

And I was just about to post the song I wrote about you.......Damn.

TrampInaTux · 06-03-2006, 04:12 AM

I wasn't being sarcastic. It really is a hobby of mine.

What's that Mommy? The monsters? WHAT ABOUT THE MONSTERS?! Mommy? HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE

right-track · 06-03-2006, 04:14 AM

Best yet hobo.

What about a chorus?

TrampInaTux · 06-03-2006, 04:19 AM

Really? Best yet? This was a little ****-around thing I did... *becomes big-headed*

Might add a chorus now then... if I can be bothered, that is. It was pretty boring to write.

right-track · 06-03-2006, 04:33 AM

Yeah I really like it. It's simple but well written.
It's a lot better than you obviously think IMO.

Improvements?
Hands melt over where his once were. (helps the flow?)

Maybe tag this onto the last verse too;

He fought the odds and how he won
but now Frances is staring down the barrel of a gun (adds balance).

Idea; Maybe you could rehash a Cobain chorus, for yours...one that would be in context. Might be a nice touch?

06-02-2006, 04:34 AM	#1 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Frances Frances is caught up on looks Dirty drugs and lazy hooks Living the life through his idols eyes Sensitivity is just a disguise Voices echo and faces blur Hands melt over where his once were All this love to give, but none for himself Love for the art but none for his health Teaching was impossible Failure was probable He fought the odds and how he won but now Frances is staring down the barrel of a gun Frances is hung up on tales How to go out with a bang when you fail how to be remembered, how to grab fame How, in years time, he could stay in the frame Robert had intelligence no school could teach But there was a darkness, that nothing could bleach Heralded now as one of the greats Through stars and shimmers he smiles at his fate Destiny called and he took the chance For he knows, in his life, there was only one romance. He fought the odds and how he won but now Frances is staring down the barrel of a gun Have a guess what this is about. I've bolded the clue to help you out.

06-03-2006, 03:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Well done, give yourself a brownie.

06-03-2006, 04:07 AM	#5 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Yeah, because that's a hobby of mine... writing songs about random strangers I've met throught the Internet...

06-03-2006, 04:12 AM	#7 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	I wasn't being sarcastic. It really is a hobby of mine. What's that Mommy? The monsters? WHAT ABOUT THE MONSTERS?! Mommy? HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE

06-03-2006, 04:14 AM	#8 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	Best yet hobo. What about a chorus?

06-03-2006, 04:19 AM	#9 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Really? Best yet? This was a little ***-around thing I did... becomes big-headed* Might add a chorus now then... if I can be bothered, that is. It was pretty boring to write.

06-03-2006, 04:33 AM	#10 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	Yeah I really like it. It's simple but well written. It's a lot better than you obviously think IMO. Improvements? Hands melt over where his once were. (helps the flow?) Maybe tag this onto the last verse too; He fought the odds and how he won but now Frances is staring down the barrel of a gun (adds balance). Idea; Maybe you could rehash a Cobain chorus, for yours...one that would be in context. Might be a nice touch?