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05-28-2006, 12:14 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 29
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The Tramp Champ--or?
The Tramp Champ –really don’t have a proper title—suggestions?
(male vocal) oline © annie 2006 re-write below1.) It’s a quarter to nine And I’ve just finished - a bottle of wine. Didn’t know how much I was hurting Seems-- there’s no more fun I should buy -another one And then I might forget your fllirting. Ch) Sometimes you’d act like a tramp And wouldn’t know who you’d been doing But that’s not the same as a vamp When you and me were billing and cooing And you’d say let’s turn on the lamp and ourselves with the viewing 2.) Now it’s one thirty-one Just noticed another - bottle is done Oh boy this is trou-ou-ble I don’t even feel drunk But sure in a funk, ‘Cuz I’m sure seeing dou-ou-ble Ch) 3.) Bet you’re with someone new Too many others have flo-own the coop Your reputation’s expanding The talk of the town The gossip goes round And there’s not a good man left standing Ch) Sometimes you’d act like a tramp And wouldn’t know who you’d been doing But that’s not the same as a vamp When you and me were billing and cooing I’ll declare you the champ And just leave you stewing TAG) Yeah I’ll declare you the champ And just leave you stewing! |
06-11-2006, 09:46 AM | #3 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5
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The last two lines of the chorus 'and you say let's turn........' doesn't sound as good as the 'i declare you the champ........'
i'm having a bit of trouble identifying the hook though- could the tag but not sure?????
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06-13-2006, 10:17 PM | #6 (permalink) | |
Bright F*cking Red
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 2,222
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It's a bit bland. It seems kinda like a lot of it was written just so that it would rhyme. The story seems forced. It's alright as a start, but it could definitely use some revision, mainly revision of the storyline.
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How'd I end up here to begin with? I don't know. Why do I start what I can't finish? Oh please, don't barrage me with questions to all those ugly answers. My ego's like my stomach- it keeps shitting what I feed it. But maybe I don't want to finish anything anymore.. maybe I can wait in bed 'til she comes home. and whispers.... Quote:
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06-28-2006, 08:59 PM | #7 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 29
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The Champ
© annie 2006 1.) It’s a quarter to nine And I’ve just finished a bottle of wine. Didn’t know how much I was reacting Seems nothing is fun So I’ll drink another one To forget your on-street transactions Ch I’ll declare you the champ In being a tramp You don’t often know who you’re doing Now you’re not the sweet chick When you and I clicked And we were kissin' and cooing 2.) Now it’s one thirty-one Just noticed this second bottle is done Oh boy this is trou-ou-ble I ‘m feelinig drunk In one hell of a funk, ‘Cuz I’m sure seeing dou-ou-ble Ch) 3.) Bet you’re with someone new Many others have flo-own the coop Your reputation can’t be transcended The talk of the town As gossip goes round What you start, we all know, is soon ended! Ch) I’ll declare you the champ In being a tramp You don’t often know who you’re doing Now you’re not the sweet chick When you and I clicked And we were kissin' and cooing TAG) Yeah I’ll declare you the champ |
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