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Old 05-05-2006, 03:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
that's my war face.
 
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Something about the way you smile
makes me want to keep you laughing all the while
grab your attention for just a moment
things have died down I gotta keep the ball rolling
Something about the way our eyes meet
look away in shyness but I find it sweet
I wish you knew without me having to tell you (oh no no)
painted pictures in my mind of how we'll see this through
Something about you I cannot put my finger on it
Something about you whatever it is I will not doubt it
Something about you I like not knowing what it is
Something about you I guess it's cos I know you're his...


Really short I know, but I will develop on this later depending on how the verdict is. So then, please PLEASE PLEASE make a comment on this one. Me personally-I think it's alright. But then I would say that, I wrote it. So it's up to you lot whether this gets developed upon or not. Sink or swim?
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Old 05-05-2006, 03:27 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I should lock this thread for false advertising.

Has possibilities...the something, something, something, something lines could be the chorus. Get rid of the 'it's' at the end though.
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Old 05-05-2006, 03:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
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i'm into sweet things at the moment and i find this sweet so i like it
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Old 05-05-2006, 05:15 PM   #4 (permalink)
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What exactly is this thread supposed to be about?
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Old 05-05-2006, 05:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by H.I.M
What exactly is this thread supposed to be about?
It's in the song writing forum...hazard a guess!
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Old 05-05-2006, 05:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by right-track
It's in the song writing forum...hazard a guess!
Oh....ummm ok I guess...
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Old 05-05-2006, 06:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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to see her naked... she should be in porn, cause half of the movies she is in turn into soft porn... i would imagine half the world has seen her naked by now..

Hobo... the song was very sweet for the type of song/poem it is.. I'm not into ryhming but still i thought it was sweet.. good job.. and whats the realy personal story behide it?
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Old 05-05-2006, 07:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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What a misleading title! :[

All in all good song, I liked it.
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Old 05-06-2006, 03:09 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by explosions-in-my-pants
whats the realy personal story behide it?
There's not a really personal story behind it... it's just a song about the new-relationship vibe you get and everything that comes with it.
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