Why do you not review my songs anymore?

TrampInaTux · 04-25-2006, 02:22 PM

Ah you see I've explained this before... I think only waiting for masterpieces is stupid. I post up every thought I have in my head, so that you can review them all and not just what I would class as my best work. I haven't posted up as many now, basically because school has started and I don't have as much time on my hands. But I will post up as many songs as I can, although I do like your '2 songs' idea. Maybe I should do that instead...

TheBig3 · 04-25-2006, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hobojesus

I'm lost inside you
like so many others
Wish I knew a way out
so I could run for cover
I feel so used
but I love that feeling
It gives me coshure
til my mind needs healing
Desperation
I like to call it love
You are my trophy
I fall into you, shoved

Ignoring my own bias for rhyme, this isn't bad but im going to hammer the abstracts again. People get pissed and say everything can't be specific and I agree, but a little more substance is always appreciated. To me writting this abstract tells me you saw this issue on television, not that you experienced it. Now whether thats true or not is irrelvent, let me know what you felt.

I don't know what coshure is but the idea of liking being used, I want to know why you like being used, what did being used give you that you liked?

Piggybacking on what Crowquill said, shoved maybe put there to rhyme (which I don't care for) but I love that idea. if you just said "I fall into you" it would be cliche and trite. But this seems to denote an unwillingness to be that in love, or maybe not love at all but rather, some external force makig you feel this way. I of course would like to know whats pushing you, but the concept is great none-the-less.

TrampInaTux · 04-25-2006, 03:52 PM

Well this is an experience I have felt, and I don't get what you really said in the first paragraph about you wanting to know what I felt. This is what I felt.

Coshure is another word for comfort, as in it gives me comfort.

And as for the shoved part it's all about how everyone around you wants to plan out how your relationships are going to work and how they do manage to decide what goes on in your private life. This is basically saying that you are pushed into a relationship, even though you want to be but you still want to do things your way.

04-25-2006, 02:22 PM	#11 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Ah you see I've explained this before... I think only waiting for masterpieces is stupid. I post up every thought I have in my head, so that you can review them all and not just what I would class as my best work. I haven't posted up as many now, basically because school has started and I don't have as much time on my hands. But I will post up as many songs as I can, although I do like your '2 songs' idea. Maybe I should do that instead...

04-25-2006, 03:52 PM	#13 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Well this is an experience I have felt, and I don't get what you really said in the first paragraph about you wanting to know what I felt. This is what I felt. Coshure is another word for comfort, as in it gives me comfort. And as for the shoved part it's all about how everyone around you wants to plan out how your relationships are going to work and how they do manage to decide what goes on in your private life. This is basically saying that you are pushed into a relationship, even though you want to be but you still want to do things your way.