Music Banter - Be without you(parody)

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- - Be without you(parody) (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/14625-without-you-parody.html)

maybe its like a humourous parody. like you know, listen to us send up this ridiculous song and mimick it in all its....glory.

Quote:

Originally Posted by either/or

maybe its like a humourous parody. like you know, listen to us send up this ridiculous song and mimick it in all its....glory.

Steady on there, I don't want to cut myself on your razor sharp wit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DontRunMeOver

You do say some very bizarre things.

Crazy Luv, I like these lyrics. They are nice and simple and get the message across clearly. I can also imagine how they would work in practise - in a song, which usually is difficult to do for lyrics that people post on the net.

There aren't many interesting individual lines, perhaps 3 in the whole thing (the ones which go "stay with me through simple and thin, through certain rivalries", "call the radio if you just can't be without your baby" and "we didn't build nothing overnight") but that doesn't really matter, because its more important, in my opinion, to get the message and feeling across than its is to clog up a lyric with lot of pretentious phrases.

Good work. Oh, I don't understand how its a parody. At all. Never mind.

You don't like Opera? What's wrong with you!?

Thank you :)

its not can't. its can, Call the radio if you just can be without your baby. you can, not cant...get it?
Yea, im not mocking the origianl, so its not a parody, just a change in the lyrics(from cant being without him to can be without him, very simple). My bad.
:laughing: (about the opera thing)

how about this...

*sounds of opening door*

I don't wanna go another minute..
So I'm telling you, exactly what is my order
Seems like everybody's stepping down
throwing the fats aside..
But I know I got a good thing right here,
That's why I say.. (Mmm..)

Nothings gonna taste any better, I’m gon’ stick wit u forever
Double Quarter pounder with cheese, I’m gon’ stick wit u..
You know how to fill my appetite, I'm gon' stick wit u, oh baby
Nothing else will make me feel this way, I'mma stick wit u

I can’t go another minute..
So I'm ordering, exactly what is on my mind.
See it’ll be to much, if I give you up,
Ain't nobody gettin' in between
I want you to know that, you’re the only thing for me

Nothings gonna taste any better, I’m gon’ stick wit u forever
Double Quarter pounder with cheese, I’m gon’ stick wit u..
You know how to fill my appetite, I'm gon' stick wit u, oh baby
Nothing else will make me feel this way, I'mma stick wit u

And now, ain't nothing else I can eat..
And now, I'm singing.. 'cause your so, so good to me
You got me…hooked, I’ll be dreaming of you endlessly
I'm with you, sandwich you’ll always be within me…

So don't cha worry about,
people changing my mind,
they ain't bring me up
I know you, and you please me..
and that's all that counts
So don't cha worry about,
people changing my mind,
they ain't bring me up
I know you, and you please me..
and that's why, that's why I say..

Nothings gonna taste any better, I’m gon’ stick wit u forever
Double Quarter pounder with cheese, I’m gon’ stick wit u..
You know how to fill my appetite, I'm gon' stick wit u, oh baby
Nothing else will make me feel this way, I'mma stick wit u

Nothings gonna taste any better, I’m gon’ stick wit u forever
Double Quarter pounder with cheese, I’m gon’ stick wit u..
You know how to fill my appetite, I'm gon' stick wit u, oh baby
Nothing else will make me feel this way, I'mma stick wit u

oh! Thank you, jibber, for the review too
Either/or...you crazy :laughing:

I like it. Had to add my own rhyme, nicking your ideas and some of your lines too. Its about eating a burger, people. Hehehe, double-entendre time...

I'm hungry for your touch
I can't wait another minute
Your warmth upon my lips
Upon my mouth, I want you in it

I bite into your flesh
And emit a pleasured sound
As my body gets warm
And I feel you going down...

---

(In your lyrics, you could add lines along the lines of 'they say that its a phase/puppy fat, puppy love/but when when I'm not with you/I'm always bringing you up (geddit?)'.

Bad jokes in songs, works a treat.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DontRunMeOver

Steady on there, I don't want to cut myself on your razor sharp wit.

i was gonna say something insulting to you but then iread jodi lee parker is influenced by incubus and changed my mind.

Quote:

Originally Posted by either/or

i was gonna say something insulting to you but then iread jodi lee parker is influenced by incubus and changed my mind.

Insult me anyway, damn you! Most bands like Incubus, so don't be nice because of that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DontRunMeOver

Insult me anyway, damn you! Most bands like Incubus, so don't be nice because of that.

i cant think of anything. but how can you back this song up? it really has nothing going for it.

If you're anti pop-stylings in general then I can see how you can not like it. I'm not, I appreciate the usefulness of simplicity in songs, if the song still gets its meaning across. I don't get how its a parody, but it got A meaning across to me, so I'm happy with it.

Its not the best lyric I've read here, but at the same time I would put it above many of the more complex, contrived ones I've seen, because at least it leaves me with a picture in my head, an understanding of what is being said. That's more important than putting a load of clever-sounding phrases, with no direction or rhythmic patterning, onto a page.

I quite like the fact that I can't quote individual lines here, as the individual lines are all (taken on their own) not very exciting. As a complete lyric its fine though.

i see. i know its a draft and all but still it's the use of words like cuz, and ya that just remind me of things like stickwitu, which is just so commercial and the whole scene just reeks of top50 charts, crazy frogs, black people who arent as tough as they say they are, teenage girls and mediocre metaphors.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DontRunMeOver

Thanks, & i like those lyrics of yours as well:beer:

I think i'll keep phase though. but the "when im not with you/I'm always bringing you up" is very good, i :love: it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by either/or

i see. i know its a draft and all but still it's the use of words like cuz, and ya that just remind me of things like stickwitu, which is just so commercial and the whole scene just reeks of top50 charts, crazy frogs, black people who arent as tough as they say they are, teenage girls and mediocre metaphors.

Just those two words....hmph
& why it gotta be black ppl huh?!