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03-15-2006, 12:24 PM | #1 (permalink) |
infamous nimbus
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 140
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My Home
Listen to this story
About my home. About all the time that I spent alone. And during fights all the Plates that were thrown The screaming echoed eve- (every) -ry one that broke So when you ask me why I seem so shy. It's cuz I've been quiet Most of my life. Not much to say cuz I Never liked fights. And when I was home thats All I would find. (Chorus) I dont even know what Love really is. No I couldn't tell you The truth of it. Someone great said its all You really need. Oh no, so where the f.uck Does that leave me? (/Chorus) So I would run and hide Down in my room. Try to think of something That I could do Legos, paper airplanes, Computer too Couldn't wait till I could Go back to school (Chorus) Not too cool but I would Just find a smile. It would hide the hate for A little while The family split while I Was still a child I guess thats just the A- -merican style (Chorus x2) |
03-15-2006, 01:39 PM | #4 (permalink) |
Idontthinkyouknow
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Out of the Frying Pan
Posts: 102
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This one speaks well. What sort of music is this set to? You have the melody arranged down to the last syllable, which I thought was kind of weird. The only thing I would say is I feel like you need another verse with a present day conclusion to the story.
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03-15-2006, 01:50 PM | #5 (permalink) | |
infamous nimbus
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 140
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Quote:
I think it sounds best when the syllables match up with the bass line. Bass is kinda the base of our sound along with the drums, so the lyrics matching sounds good. The guitar flies while this is all going on, but still based around the same melody. |
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03-15-2006, 02:51 PM | #6 (permalink) |
Idontthinkyouknow
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Out of the Frying Pan
Posts: 102
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Let us know if you get anything online. I still can't really picture the music but I think the lyrics do their job.
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03-15-2006, 04:26 PM | #7 (permalink) |
that's my war face.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,418
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Very boring song. You need to go into detail more, it is very shallow for a song that requires such depth to succeed. Many songs have been sone like this in the past, you need to do something much more original with the subject material than you are.
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