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03-04-2006, 06:56 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 129
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There's No Need For Us To Be Alone
Tell me people what you think of this one. I need to know I'm any good at writing at all.
THERE'S NO NEED FOR US TO BE ALONE I can't believe she said that Can't believe it's true Can't believe she's faithful, She is wicked through and through She's read too many books She's had too many screws Unfortunately I have fallen don't know what to do When Spring turned to Summer, I swapped her for another She drank herself stupid Threw herself down the stairs She put whiskey with her aspirin My records in the dustbin She pleaded me to take her back I knew she would, I knew she would Want without needing Love without leaning Hold without clinging Don't suffocate, don't suffocate She wore a coat too warm for summer Socks too short for Winter Shoes too scuffed for parties And lipstick far too tarty She wanted without needing She loved without leaning She held without clinging But she suffocates, she suffocates There's no need for us to be alone anymore There's no need for us to be alone anymore She wanted without needing She loved without leaning She held without clinging She suffocates, she suffocates She wanted without needing She loved without leaning She held without clinging But she suffocates, she suffocates |
03-04-2006, 08:30 AM | #2 (permalink) |
They call me Tundra Boy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In your linen cupboard.
Posts: 1,166
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I think this is generally very good, although it'd be helpful if you visually seperated it into verse/chorus etc. for us. I would say though, that I'm not sure I understand the sentiment when the verse and chorus seem to contradict each other. Meaning:
In the later verses you seem to be saying that the girl is desperate, clingy and suffocating, whereas in the choruses you say that she doesn't lean, cling or need (but say that she suffocates again). This is a bit confusing. |
03-04-2006, 12:26 PM | #3 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 129
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Im actually going to be honest and say i didnt write this. One of my friends wrote it along time ago. I really liked it so I took it from him. I think its good as it is to be honest. Ive tried to break it up into a chorus and verses but it doesnt sound the same! thanx for your opinion!
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