angel18

hey people, I know I have posted songs in this forum before and got negative replies but here's another song. I haven't decided on a title yet. Please give an opinion on this song, even how it could be improved? Thanx

My friend feels lost today
Her granny just died yesterday
Her heart is filled with emotion
Her mind is filled with illusions
She is hypnotised with grieve and loss
She can picture her granny wearing lip gloss
Her world is broken into pieces
There is nothing left but her weakness
It was all a sudden shock
She has lost her precious rock
Everyone around her is fighting
While she sits in her room crying
She doesn’t understand why
Her granny had to die
Her granny was so out going
She was always outside doing something
Now she is gone for good
Her granny will be forever loved