The sacrifice

creepinson · 02-21-2006, 04:25 PM

mutilingual eh? sorry to make the mistake... you cant even speak english... i suppose i shouldnt be ragging on you so hard for your lame poems

Urban Hat€monger ? · 02-21-2006, 04:30 PM

I think we got it your not that keen on it now

sleepy jack · 02-21-2006, 05:02 PM

Changing the languages on songs doesn't often work because it disrupts the rhyming/flow.

Crowe · 02-22-2006, 12:25 AM

I think having more than one language in a song is the stuff of fragility. It must be done, in my opinion, with surgical timing and placement... when done right it can be beautiful, but if it is done wrong it can look pretentious and most of the time ridiculous. That being said, if you are going to try it - be ready for the disapproving comments of those you ask to swallow it.

To those criticizing... people are trying new things, give them a break until they get uppity about it. Ma Cherie, I did not like the piece... I think you are too worried about sounding intellectual. What this does is, you focus on writing each stanza by tossing a bunch of tried and true "pretty words" together.... what ends up happening is, it comes off as extremely cliche, and since you focus on the individual stanzas, you lose the piece as a whole - like each stanza is about to break into another individual song. All of the stanzas in this piece are arguably tied together by the theme of night/the end of things...

it just doesn't work. Focus more on telling a story and the intelligence will follow in the way you tell it. Songs being written for the sole purpose of boosting your intellectual street cred is obvious and is like you walking around with the "A" Encyclopedia telling everyone you read the whole thing. Noone thinks you are any smarter, and you end up looking like a fool.

Just be careful how you carry yourself. Remember, you are on the internet and noone will think twice about calling you on this kind of thing.

02-21-2006, 04:30 PM	#12 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	I think we got it your not that keen on it now __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

02-22-2006, 12:25 AM	#14 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	I think having more than one language in a song is the stuff of fragility. It must be done, in my opinion, with surgical timing and placement... when done right it can be beautiful, but if it is done wrong it can look pretentious and most of the time ridiculous. That being said, if you are going to try it - be ready for the disapproving comments of those you ask to swallow it. To those criticizing... people are trying new things, give them a break until they get uppity about it. Ma Cherie, I did not like the piece... I think you are too worried about sounding intellectual. What this does is, you focus on writing each stanza by tossing a bunch of tried and true "pretty words" together.... what ends up happening is, it comes off as extremely cliche, and since you focus on the individual stanzas, you lose the piece as a whole - like each stanza is about to break into another individual song. All of the stanzas in this piece are arguably tied together by the theme of night/the end of things... it just doesn't work. Focus more on telling a story and the intelligence will follow in the way you tell it. Songs being written for the sole purpose of boosting your intellectual street cred is obvious and is like you walking around with the "A" Encyclopedia telling everyone you read the whole thing. Noone thinks you are any smarter, and you end up looking like a fool. Just be careful how you carry yourself. Remember, you are on the internet and noone will think twice about calling you on this kind of thing. __________________

02-21-2006, 04:25 PM	#11 (permalink)
creepinson you are freakin out, man Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: ajax, ontario Posts: 129	mutilingual eh? sorry to make the mistake... you cant even speak english... i suppose i shouldnt be ragging on you so hard for your lame poems