My Song (ballad, songs, Hang)

Green Day Rocks · 02-05-2006, 04:51 PM

I Hate Me

You keep on askin' me who I hate, who I love, does really freakin' matter to you because I don't hate....anyone...but me ...and I...don't hate anyone..but me because I just... hate me...the way...I am... I don't need changes 'cause if you change me i'll just...hate me more!

Mama Booze · 02-05-2006, 05:39 PM

*shakes head*

nonononononon. NO.

It's just...no I'm sorry.

No.

Green Day Rocks · 02-05-2006, 06:05 PM

Not at all you don't like it at all?

Mama Booze · 02-05-2006, 06:07 PM

No, I'm sorry :[

It's just too....like, it's overly cliche, and just poorly written.

Crazy Luv · 02-05-2006, 07:59 PM

Aww, you poor thing. you keep trying, but...no. It left me with a feeling of "what the hell is this". That can not be a song, & i dont think it'll make it as a poem either.

riseagainstrocks · 02-07-2006, 03:47 PM

I'd like it more if you didn't spend half of your time adding smilies to the end of it.

it's very self-deprecating, and depressing. You don't address the fundamental question of why. Also try and add some poetic language into it. No matter what the theme is, it will always sound better with some nice flowy words added in.

mosesandtherubberducky · 02-07-2006, 04:41 PM

ballads and sonnets are great things to get flow ideas from. iambicpentameter (spelling?) can sound cool.

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02-05-2006, 04:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
Green Day Rocks Groupie Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: In your closet...Go look! Posts: 28	My Song I Hate Me You keep on askin' me who I hate, who I love, does really freakin' matter to you because I don't hate....anyone...but me ...and I...don't hate anyone..but me because I just... hate me...the way...I am... I don't need changes 'cause if you change me i'll just...hate me more! __________________ Highlight this---> even though u can't see it your friend and u will always have a strong friendship

02-05-2006, 06:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
Green Day Rocks Groupie Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: In your closet...Go look! Posts: 28	Not at all you don't like it at all? __________________ Highlight this---> even though u can't see it your friend and u will always have a strong friendship

02-07-2006, 03:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
riseagainstrocks Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: DC Posts: 3,320	I'd like it more if you didn't spend half of your time adding smilies to the end of it. it's very self-deprecating, and depressing. You don't address the fundamental question of why. Also try and add some poetic language into it. No matter what the theme is, it will always sound better with some nice flowy words added in. __________________ One note timeless, came out of nowhere...

02-07-2006, 04:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
mosesandtherubberducky butt say x Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: so i read the question as "Where YOU live" which was kinda funny instead of "Where you live" Posts: 1,649	ballads and sonnets are great things to get flow ideas from. iambicpentameter (spelling?) can sound cool. __________________ Can I have a youtube video for a sig? There's a thing that says "Wrap [YOUTUBE] tags around selected text"

02-05-2006, 05:39 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mama Booze Here's lookin at you, kid Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The White Hotel Posts: 366	shakes head nonononononon. NO. It's just...no I'm sorry. No.

02-05-2006, 06:07 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mama Booze Here's lookin at you, kid Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The White Hotel Posts: 366	No, I'm sorry :[ It's just too....like, it's overly cliche, and just poorly written.

02-05-2006, 07:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
Crazy Luv a l'amou fou pou tout Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: NY Posts: 355	Aww, you poor thing. you keep trying, but...no. It left me with a feeling of "what the hell is this". That can not be a song, & i dont think it'll make it as a poem either.