The Path of Broken Hearts and Tattered Souls (alternative, review)

madeinNY · 01-22-2006, 07:33 PM

A/N: still needs a lot of work, I think...please review.

---

I’ve got a goal, hon.
…That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.
And now I’m gunna make you regret it.
Forget everything you’ve known.
I’m gunna make you feel it in your bones, hon.

It’s gunna feel ten times worse
Than I did.
Know why?
‘Cause that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, hon.

Be a little smarter, babes.
How could I be so foolish…
Hell…you’re gunna feel it in yer bones.
Forget everything you know. (I’ll laugh at you)

I’m gunna make you taste your own tears for a change.
Tie you up for a change.
Get down on your damn knees for a change, hon.

Ha…well hon, I’ve got a goal.
Gunna make ya feel it in yer bones.
You’re gunna regret it worse than before.
Forget everything you’ve ever known.
Gunna make you feel it in your bones.

Make you feel used for a damn change.
Make you jealous.
Make you stay up all night crying.

That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, hon.
Forget everything you’ve ever known.
And walk the path of broken hearts and tattered souls
You’ll feel it in you’re fucking bones.

Crazy Luv · 01-22-2006, 08:06 PM

I was confused at first, but after reading the whole thing Im like "oooo sh*t". i like what its saying. Started liking it from...

Quote:

I’m gunna make you taste your own tears for a change.

madeinNY · 01-22-2006, 08:10 PM

thanks crazy :]

what do you think its saying? (just curious)...

Crazy Luv · 01-22-2006, 08:19 PM

Okay lets say Jill was with Jack okay. Now Jack did a whole lot of stupid things. but all of a sudden he did something that was beyond the line of tolerance. Now Jill, tired of it all(mentally as well as physically), isnt going to take that sh*t & is gonna make him pay for all the trouble hes put her through.

well thats what i got from it...

madeinNY · 01-22-2006, 08:33 PM

Yeshh! Very good :]

TrampInaTux · 01-25-2006, 01:26 PM

...I did actually like this one, madein. Your best so far, even though I didn't really like any of your previous work. I like all the uses of 'hon'. Very alternative.

madeinNY · 01-25-2006, 02:26 PM

why thank you hobo :]

TrampInaTux · 01-28-2006, 02:39 AM

You're welcome and lap it up, because it is the only compliment I've dished out in a while.

creepinson · 01-29-2006, 07:29 PM

i would love to call this a terrible song

its ok i guess... monsterously cliche and i really didnt like the informality of the diction, but maybe thats just me

TrampInaTux · 01-30-2006, 01:57 PM

The 'informality of the diction' makes the song, in my opinion. For some reason this reminds me of a slightly more 'countrified' Johnny Cash.

01-22-2006, 07:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	The Path of Broken Hearts and Tattered Souls A/N: still needs a lot of work, I think...please review. --- I’ve got a goal, hon. …That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done. And now I’m gunna make you regret it. Forget everything you’ve known. I’m gunna make you feel it in your bones, hon. It’s gunna feel ten times worse Than I did. Know why? ‘Cause that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, hon. Be a little smarter, babes. How could I be so foolish… Hell…you’re gunna feel it in yer bones. Forget everything you know. (I’ll laugh at you) I’m gunna make you taste your own tears for a change. Tie you up for a change. Get down on your damn knees for a change, hon. Ha…well hon, I’ve got a goal. Gunna make ya feel it in yer bones. You’re gunna regret it worse than before. Forget everything you’ve ever known. Gunna make you feel it in your bones. Make you feel used for a damn change. Make you jealous. Make you stay up all night crying. That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, hon. Forget everything you’ve ever known. And walk the path of broken hearts and tattered souls You’ll feel it in you’re fucking bones. __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

01-22-2006, 08:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	thanks crazy :] what do you think its saying? (just curious)... __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

01-22-2006, 08:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	Yeshh! Very good :] __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

01-25-2006, 02:26 PM	#7 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	why thank you hobo :] __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

01-22-2006, 08:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
Crazy Luv a l'amou fou pou tout Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: NY Posts: 355	Okay lets say Jill was with Jack okay. Now Jack did a whole lot of stupid things. but all of a sudden he did something that was beyond the line of tolerance. Now Jill, tired of it all(mentally as well as physically), isnt going to take that sh*t & is gonna make him pay for all the trouble hes put her through. well thats what i got from it...

01-25-2006, 01:26 PM	#6 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	...I did actually like this one, madein. Your best so far, even though I didn't really like any of your previous work. I like all the uses of 'hon'. Very alternative.

01-28-2006, 02:39 AM	#8 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	You're welcome and lap it up, because it is the only compliment I've dished out in a while.

01-29-2006, 07:29 PM	#9 (permalink)
creepinson you are freakin out, man Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: ajax, ontario Posts: 129	i would love to call this a terrible song its ok i guess... monsterously cliche and i really didnt like the informality of the diction, but maybe thats just me

01-30-2006, 01:57 PM	#10 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	The 'informality of the diction' makes the song, in my opinion. For some reason this reminds me of a slightly more 'countrified' Johnny Cash.