A short song I wrote
 

Lions and Tigers and Bears


(Breathe Deep!)

(You sold all our hopes!)

(and I prepare defenses!)

thank you my friend for taking my oxygen

leaving me behind in the cold front

as exposure sets in

And as I stumble between seasons

I won't trip over the winter snow

(Darling!, your a mess!)

(The cancer in our thoughts is murderous!)

(The signs say stop!)

I died in that intersection.

It was the way the red lights

blended with the yellow

and the hybrid brightness

shined through our

cars like sun spots

and we all died that night

(Just like the movie stars!)



( )=screaming

"The signs say stop" doesn't fit. Other than that, the death theme got kinda repetative. But good use of imagery.

word.
Revision!

Excellent.