Dreams... (The Police, title, quote, song, Alto)

TrampInaTux · 01-19-2006, 12:39 PM

The Monks put on their armour/
and they fight to the death/
While the white mechanical dog/
saves me from my last breath/
I hide away from the sirens/
while the police man rides around town/
He is watching over me/
making my past shorter with his hound/

I sit upon the skyline/
in the Island where no one goes/
where all my dreams come true/
and no one will ever know/
I see those who I miss/
and get to speak to them through mind/
this is the land of the clouds/
and the world is much more kind/

My family is altogether/
Here at last like the old times/
I'm with the people that I love/
happiness like this, there's no other kind/

Levithan · 01-19-2006, 12:53 PM

Its real good man, i like it lol. Just dont get this bit lol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hobojesus

While the white mechanical dog/
saves me from my last breath/

Still good work

TrampInaTux · 01-19-2006, 12:57 PM

It's been in a dream I've had. As you can tell from the title, it's all about my dreams...

Crazy Luv · 01-22-2006, 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hobojesus

My family is altogether/
Here at last like the old times/
I'm with the people that I love/
happiness like this, there's no other kind/

i really liked this. The only thing that i see that needs to be fixed is the ending. Its too short, while everything has more length.

edit:

Quote:

Originally Posted by hobojesus

The Monks put on their armour/
and they fight to the death/

Wouldnt it be their death

TrampInaTux · 01-22-2006, 11:54 AM

Crazy you read my mind with the first part. The ending is too short, but I couldn't think of anything to put in the place of that, and also I think the line is great. Anything else would just ruin the line. With the second part, it shouldn't be fight to their death. It's supposed to refer to gladiatiors, where they 'fight to the death' because that's what happened in the dream.

ladyluckrules · 01-22-2006, 12:23 PM

Maybe I should write a song about my hoover-ghost dream.....

TrampInaTux · 01-22-2006, 12:35 PM

That would stop you clogging up my thread.

Crazy Luv · 01-22-2006, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hobojesus

Crazy you read my mind with the first part. The ending is too short, but I couldn't think of anything to put in the place of that, and also I think the line is great. Anything else would just ruin the line. With the second part, it shouldn't be fight to their death. It's supposed to refer to gladiatiors, where they 'fight to the death' because that's what happened in the dream.

Yea, if you cant think of anything else to add to the ending, then just forget it, cause you dont want to force things on
yea, it makes more sense now that i know what it means & all(the the not suppose to be a their thing)

mosesandtherubberducky · 01-22-2006, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hobojesus

While the white mechanical dog/
saves me from my last breath/

I am liking the song. Could you of gotten that (I know it is from your dreams but) from Megaman mixed with Final Fantasy?

TrampInaTux · 01-23-2006, 03:45 AM

Nope. Never played/watched Final Fantasy, and never heard of Megaman.

01-19-2006, 12:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Dreams... The Monks put on their armour/ and they fight to the death/ While the white mechanical dog/ saves me from my last breath/ I hide away from the sirens/ while the police man rides around town/ He is watching over me/ making my past shorter with his hound/ I sit upon the skyline/ in the Island where no one goes/ where all my dreams come true/ and no one will ever know/ I see those who I miss/ and get to speak to them through mind/ this is the land of the clouds/ and the world is much more kind/ My family is altogether/ Here at last like the old times/ I'm with the people that I love/ happiness like this, there's no other kind/

01-22-2006, 12:23 PM	#6 (permalink)
ladyluckrules D: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: England Posts: 507	Maybe I should write a song about my hoover-ghost dream..... __________________ AHOY SAILOR

01-19-2006, 12:57 PM	#3 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	It's been in a dream I've had. As you can tell from the title, it's all about my dreams...

01-22-2006, 11:54 AM	#5 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Crazy you read my mind with the first part. The ending is too short, but I couldn't think of anything to put in the place of that, and also I think the line is great. Anything else would just ruin the line. With the second part, it shouldn't be fight to their death. It's supposed to refer to gladiatiors, where they 'fight to the death' because that's what happened in the dream.

01-22-2006, 12:35 PM	#7 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	That would stop you clogging up my thread.

01-23-2006, 03:45 AM	#10 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Nope. Never played/watched Final Fantasy, and never heard of Megaman.