Crazy Luv

or you could put four other things for what you're dancing for



at first i was like , but i read the no offense thing & then im like

madeinNY

like in a different line? I could do that...

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I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

either/or

damn it. i would have got away with it if it wasn't for you meddling teenagers.

__________________
Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation

either/or

really? your face went through that many colours and emotions? im not that special

__________________
Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation

creepinson

this song is one big cliche... i continue to dislike the contrived feel i get from your songs

Crazy Luv

you know what i mean*shaking head*. Im black remember(for the changing colors thing). no you really arent that special
















































j/p

madeinNY

creep, instead of saying you just plain dislike it, why don't you give some helpful critiscm

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I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

jibber

^in all fairness, he's given many many cirtiques in the past about her songs being cliche. All his critiques on her songs have been the same, so I'd imagine it gets tiring typing out why a song is cliche every time. I think it's helpful criticism just to hear that it IS cliche, that's more than enough to work on.

__________________
What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

madeinNY

But all of my songs are NOT cliche, just a few. And no one else seemed to think this song is cliche...but that's beside the point.

CRITISCM (I can't spell, I know.) is telling a person why, and maybe ways to fix it.

By the way, telling people their songs are cliche is getting pretty damn cliche lol.

Why do my song threads always turn into an argument, with you, jibber? If your not going to critique the song please get out of my thread and PM me if you have a problem and maybe we could work it out instead of constantly fighting in threads and spamming.

__________________
I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

jibber

I wasn't aware that this was an argument. I merely pointed out that creep's criticism WAS helpful, I wasn't being in any way argumentative. And I did critique the song, calling it cliched. But if you'd like a further and more in-depth critique, I'd be happy to give it to you. I'd say your song is cliched because the subjects you write about have been written about so many times that it becomes very repetitive and boring unless you say it in a unique way. Don't be so direct with your lines, and don't beat us over the head with obvious meaning. use metaphors and symbols to make us work a little more to find meaning in your lyrics. Then you'll have a more interesting song, it'll still convey what you want, and it wont be cliched.

__________________
What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER