The Sound Of Ten Thousand Things Breaking All At Once (songs, Organ) - Music Banter Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Today's Posts
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-17-2006, 02:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 56
Default The Sound Of Ten Thousand Things Breaking All At Once

The Sound Of Ten Thousand Things Breaking All At Once

It's really hard to catch knives with just your throat
when all you have
is a paper neck and poreclain organs
but like flowers,we grow
and then we fall apart
were falling apart in so many ways
If I never see you again
it will be the same
as every day we
express through these breaths
we take in our chests
breathe into my lungs
and your cold embrace
encloses me
(straight through my heart)
and I silently walk off the novels edge
and fall between chapters
and die in the margins
__________________
My heart is on strings and wires
TheNumber12LooksLikeMe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2006, 03:32 PM   #2 (permalink)
a l'amou fou pou tout
 
Crazy Luv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 355
Default

it might be good, but i got lost many places...
Crazy Luv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2006, 04:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
Don't think twice
 
either/or's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: A basement on the hill
Posts: 352
Default

ahhh very clever.
__________________
Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation
either/or is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2006, 09:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
Freeskier
 
jibber's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Istanbul was Constantinople now it's Istanbul not Constantinople...
Posts: 1,536
Default

I like it, it's straightforward without being too blunt, nice metaphors and subtlety without being too garbled. I think it's great as it is (short and simple), but like so many really good, short songs, I find myself wondering what would happen if you expanded on it and added some verses. You've got a really great thing going on, and it may be that by adding verses you kill it, but I think it's worth experimenting with.
__________________
What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways


Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER
jibber is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2006, 05:20 AM   #5 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 56
Default

I'll experiment
__________________
My heart is on strings and wires
TheNumber12LooksLikeMe is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Similar Threads



© 2003-2024 Advameg, Inc.