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01-17-2006, 02:14 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 56
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The Sound Of Ten Thousand Things Breaking All At Once
The Sound Of Ten Thousand Things Breaking All At Once
It's really hard to catch knives with just your throat when all you have is a paper neck and poreclain organs but like flowers,we grow and then we fall apart were falling apart in so many ways If I never see you again it will be the same as every day we express through these breaths we take in our chests breathe into my lungs and your cold embrace encloses me (straight through my heart) and I silently walk off the novels edge and fall between chapters and die in the margins
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My heart is on strings and wires |
01-17-2006, 04:49 PM | #3 (permalink) |
Don't think twice
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: A basement on the hill
Posts: 352
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ahhh very clever.
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Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation |
01-17-2006, 09:09 PM | #4 (permalink) |
Freeskier
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Istanbul was Constantinople now it's Istanbul not Constantinople...
Posts: 1,536
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I like it, it's straightforward without being too blunt, nice metaphors and subtlety without being too garbled. I think it's great as it is (short and simple), but like so many really good, short songs, I find myself wondering what would happen if you expanded on it and added some verses. You've got a really great thing going on, and it may be that by adding verses you kill it, but I think it's worth experimenting with.
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What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road. William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass. HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER |
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