Ella Jean
 

A/N: It's a bit meant to be funny, so, yea...

Ella Jean

Can we go back when we were young?
When we talked about making out with Paula Abdul
Before you stopped eating?
Before I cut myself?

Before Naomi and Laura fell out?
Before Allie got grounded
And Ash went away…

Can we go back when we were young?
When we didn’t worry?
When paradise was still up and running
Before Rashad hacked the board
Before Naomi left para?

Before Tyler left me
Before CJ ban me from FC…
Before I needed someone to live for?

Can we go back when we were young?
Talking about Simon Cowell
And Paula Abdul?
Watching American Idol with hopes of Saula?

Before I became
A wee bit Shimonite…
Before stupid Daula
And all the fights with Laura…

When you wrote my Simon fic smut
And Laura hounded me for updates
Before I started looking for mates…

Can we go back when we were young?
When all we would listen to
Is Paulatics by my baby, Ella Jean
My little Vegas girl
My Ella Jean

Can you go back to when you were young? So what, like a week ago?

Twelve year olds haven't lived long enough lives to reflect back on what they did or didn't do.

Aye but its the truth, I don't know how to say something thats not the truth and if its cliche so be it.

Thanks for the critism though.

Other than that, what did you think?

APS, this 12 year old did. My lifespan is longer than most, Shhhhh..dont tell anyone.

I think songs such as Nickleback's Photograph are lame because they have forced rhymes and poor sentance construction with mediocre use of diction. Same applies to this.

APS, while in this case you're probably right, you can't say that for every 12 year old. Some 12 y/o's have gone through more than most people have gone through in a lifetime. Now I can say that, and if you want proof - I can go look up a news article in a jif. Just gotta be careful what you say on a forum, you don't know what these people have been through.

hell i imagine you started liking chicks around 6, 7, 8?

paula abdul was still old back then....

this song gets both a bad crit for the things alexisonfire stated (sweet band btw) and for the relation to the pre teen love of OLD people

Thank you Crowe, and you're so right about that.

By the way people, if you didn't read the authors note, song equals MEANT TO BE FUNNY.

I hate Nickelback, APS.

Other person that just posted above me, Paula Abdul isn't old, she's middle aged and looks great for her age, IMO. Let me like who I wanna like, it's a state of preference, not something arguable.

The point is, the song reminds me of a song such as Nickleback's, in which the person poorly reflects back on insignificant events in their life. They are mass marketed, and have become contrived through overuse.

They're not insignificant to me...why doesn't anyone understand that?

The reason they may seem insignificant to you is because the song is meant to say, lets go back to simple times before all this **** happen in both our lives to screw everything up.

No one has lived your life, so it doesn't do a very good job at capturing anyone else. You don't relate it to anything that can give anyone reading this a clear connection to how you feel or how they should feel about the situations. They are vague and sporadic.

dude your twelve... stick with people that arent more than double your age... and in any case, if you have to argue that she looks good for her age... its probably nasty no matter how much you argue...

P.S. dont post funny songs, unless you're sure your gonna get some laughs, be serious about your writing...

P.S.S. i just realized how many posts youve got in such a short ammount of time... thats almost 500 a month man... thats like more than 15 a day... i dont know whether to congradulate you or make you rethink your life

Rethink my life? LMFAO ROFL!!!!!!!! HAHAH! OVER THE INTERNET? LMFAO ROFL!! Thank you for making me laugh!!!! HAHAHHA I havent laughed in days, no seriously, thank you!!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!!!


Oh ethan, Im just trying to make them see my POV of the song so they see and can give me feedback on how to incorporate that into the song.

madeinNY your 12, not to many people take you seriously and the fact you have a horrid mouth at your age doesn't help you either. Im gonna stop here and just tell you to drop it because you can and will get torn apart if you try and continue this.

ahaha yeah... i thought someone with tragedies that had been tearing them to shreads during their pre adolescence could use a pick me up

it's really tough to judge, because, like other people have said, you're 12. Seriously, i know you think you're really grown up now, but a few years down the road, you'll look back at yourself as you are now and think "wow, i can't believe I thought I was so mature....i was such a little kid...." then years after THAT, you'll look back and think, "wow, i can't believe I thought i was grown up...". What's more, you'll look back on your childhood and wish you hadnt wasted it by trying to grow up too fast. Trust me, when you get to be an adult, you'll have more than enough problems and you'll wish your life could be as simple as it was when you were the age you are now. Slow down, enjoy childhood while it lasts, because even though it sounds really cheesy, it does go by WAY too fast to waste time worrying about stuff you dont need to.

I think i need to worry about one of my best friends being anorexic and possibly dying..but thank you for putting it nicely.

I cant help that I have a foul mouth, Ethan.

Spend 10 minuets with me in the real world, everyone, you'll know Im for real.

Haha


sorry for the spammin but


Haha

look, no one is saying that you haven't had trials in your life, because EVERYONE has something to deal with. I just noticed that in a lot of your other songs, you talk about being in love with someone, having failed relationships, things like that. Word of advice, at your age, it's impossible to truly love someone in a romantic sense, and any relationship you have isnt a real relationship at that young an age. Don't waste your energy worrying about stuff like that, because like I said, soon enough, your life will get way more complicated, and you'll look back and wish you hadn't spent what should have been the most carefree years of your life worrying about "relationships" and things like that.

You can fall in love at any age.

Thats cliche but you can.

And your narrow minded to think otherwise, and it offends me that you would say that.

You can love someone at any age, but to be "in love", in the romantic sense on the word, not at that young an age. it's not narrowminded, It's called growing up and realizing how much things change as you get older. Trust me, years down the road you'll look back and realize what I'm talking about.

You can fall in love, when I was with her, I couldv'e died at any moment and been happy anyway.

I know what you're trying to say. I just plainly don't agree with you.

Age and wisdom are two different things.

I live my life the way that makes me happy, I'm not going to waste my time doing things that are expected of me, because that's not what makes me happy. Everyone should live like I do if they have the chance, everyone would be so much better off.

:rofl:

jibber.
You wont get through to her.
As she grows up, she will understand.
Now, she is too young to understand that she is too young

Stop being a drama queen.

You're like one of those messages underneath the top of a bottle of Snapple. Shut up already.

I'm trying to get people to get me.

Yea that sounded uber Emo but I don't give a flying ****.

APS- I could say the same for you.

I don't think bottles of Snapple hijack their own threads and turn them into "What's love?" spam-offs. At least I was talking to you about your lyrics.

I believe the snapple bottle comment you made was not about the lyrics.

Listen people, dont give me a life lecture, critique my song.

I was trying to get you to stop, but you're too obnoxious and dense to give up.

Because you people keep provoking me!

Word. I'd defenitely still titty fuck the hell outta Paula Abdul.

Ha! Thanks Alejo.

Hint to others in thread: don't provoke the hormonal 12 year old

OH MY GODZ!!! THE INTERNETS IS SUCH A ROUGH PLACE FOR ME!!!!!!!

Its not a ****ing rough place, I just dont lie down and take **** from people.

You just dont get it

here


SHUT THE FUCK UP

we are critiquing your song. we're saying that it comes off as contrived, cliche, forced and repetitive. Knowing a little bit about your background, we've suggested that most of the problem is that you're too young to really have a grasp on such concepts as love, and that a 12 year old writing about "reflecting on her youth" just can't be taken seriously. You say you're just trying to make people "get you". We do get you, because we've all been there before, we all remember exactly how you're feeling right now. We've all stood there thinking that we knew it all, and we all used to hate it when people told us "you'll understand when you're older." But know what? they were right all along. Everyone in the entire world has, at some point, been in your position. At 12 you just can't know a whole lot about the world.

my eyeeesss! :nono:

What if I never told anyone on this board I was 12?

well ..