my song (lyrics, shows, quote, songs, Hang)

~~Sabgoat~~ · 12-31-2005, 08:44 PM

yea i wrote this song tonight.. i always write songs.. they just fall out of me really.. way to many emotions.. haha emotional wreck really!.. anyways aside from taking about me being insane.. this is a part of me.. (the song that is) and well what do you think?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damaged

being alone in this thing with you
saying things that i never should've
taking back the things i said were true
holding on to you like you knew i would

(Course)
i know you never loved me
i know you never could
the thought of someday, the thought...
maybe i was crazy, yet ofcourse
i know you wanted to trust me
i know you never would

maybe someday things will change
forever laying in this grave of shame
holding on to the torment of a maybe...maybe someday
this thing here... doesn't belong to me

(Course)
i know you never loved me
i know you never could
the thought of someday, the thought...
maybe i was crazy, but yet ofcourse
i know you wanted to trust me
i know you never would

shameless laying alone in this darkened hole
whisping my dreams into your ear
falling faster to the floor
crying out for you once more

I can't take this.. i can't do this anymore
holding on to this fake thing with you
never can i do this right
trying to move on.. moving on never coming true

(Course)
i know you tried to love me
i know you pushed me away
i swear you never liked me
i swear you lied to me
i know you never trusted in me
i know you never tired to... never wanted to be
never was your time wasted towards me..

i know you never could
i swore i never would
broke my heart still to the ground
sounds of the shape of everything
smash to the ground & there i go...

(Course)
I know you never loved me
i know you never could
the thought of someday, the thought...
maybe i was crazy, but yet ofcourse
i know you wanted to trust me
i know you never would
you never could
you never could
you never could
i know you never could

madeinNY · 12-31-2005, 08:53 PM

It was a very good effort, but I think it's a bit too cliched. Maybe add in some metaphores...and some cool lines. And maybe a verse of too with a rhyme.

Hehe line and rhyme, rhyme.

~~Sabgoat~~ · 12-31-2005, 08:55 PM

thanks finally some one who's willing to say something other then "its good" just cause there being nice.. i'd rather honesty even if its nothing good.. hahahaha!!! thanks dude! :o)

madeinNY · 12-31-2005, 08:56 PM

Dudette

Hey no problem

~~Sabgoat~~ · 12-31-2005, 09:21 PM

hey how come my picture thingy doesn't show up by my post like your's and everyone elses does??? just wondering haha.. or can you see it... hmmm i'm clearly new at this haha

madeinNY · 12-31-2005, 09:22 PM

Oh you mean emoticons? I don't know...how did you attempt to put them on?

either/or · 01-01-2006, 03:01 AM

i think she means an avatar. if so you cant have one until you reach something around 50 posts. the song was okay but can't we people write a happy song? all the last 25 or so songs in here have all been depressing.

madeinNY · 01-01-2006, 06:16 AM

The winter is depressing, its always so dark (but that's comforting to me...lmfao read my other song)and cold, brrr.
That's my reasoning for the drepressing songs.

EDIT: Yea, I just re-read that and your right, she does mean av.

~~Sabgoat~~ · 01-01-2006, 10:36 AM

ahh i see.. thanks!.. i shall wait a while then.. oh well.. haha!

and why the depressing songs.. cause well in comes from within my heart and soul where i've been hurt.. to me personally, i think the best songs i've heard are really depressing, like the lyrics..

Crazy Luv · 01-01-2006, 10:45 AM

Quote:

broke my heart still to the ground
sounds of the shape of everything
smash to the ground & there i go...

that part confused me.

i like it, yea, shows lots of emotion. the chorus or course, whatever, needs some work though.

12-31-2005, 08:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
~~Sabgoat~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 303	my song yea i wrote this song tonight.. i always write songs.. they just fall out of me really.. way to many emotions.. haha emotional wreck really!.. anyways aside from taking about me being insane.. this is a part of me.. (the song that is) and well what do you think? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Damaged being alone in this thing with you saying things that i never should've taking back the things i said were true holding on to you like you knew i would (Course) i know you never loved me i know you never could the thought of someday, the thought... maybe i was crazy, yet ofcourse i know you wanted to trust me i know you never would maybe someday things will change forever laying in this grave of shame holding on to the torment of a maybe...maybe someday this thing here... doesn't belong to me (Course) i know you never loved me i know you never could the thought of someday, the thought... maybe i was crazy, but yet ofcourse i know you wanted to trust me i know you never would shameless laying alone in this darkened hole whisping my dreams into your ear falling faster to the floor crying out for you once more I can't take this.. i can't do this anymore holding on to this fake thing with you never can i do this right trying to move on.. moving on never coming true (Course) i know you tried to love me i know you pushed me away i swear you never liked me i swear you lied to me i know you never trusted in me i know you never tired to... never wanted to be never was your time wasted towards me.. i know you never could i swore i never would broke my heart still to the ground sounds of the shape of everything smash to the ground & there i go... (Course) I know you never loved me i know you never could the thought of someday, the thought... maybe i was crazy, but yet ofcourse i know you wanted to trust me i know you never would you never could you never could you never could i know you never could

12-31-2005, 08:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	It was a very good effort, but I think it's a bit too cliched. Maybe add in some metaphores...and some cool lines. And maybe a verse of too with a rhyme. Hehe line and rhyme, rhyme. __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

12-31-2005, 08:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	Dudette Hey no problem __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

12-31-2005, 09:22 PM	#6 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	Oh you mean emoticons? I don't know...how did you attempt to put them on? __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

01-01-2006, 03:01 AM	#7 (permalink)
either/or Don't think twice Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: A basement on the hill Posts: 352	i think she means an avatar. if so you cant have one until you reach something around 50 posts. the song was okay but can't we people write a happy song? all the last 25 or so songs in here have all been depressing. __________________ Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation

12-31-2005, 08:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
~~Sabgoat~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 303	thanks finally some one who's willing to say something other then "its good" just cause there being nice.. i'd rather honesty even if its nothing good.. hahahaha!!! thanks dude! :o)

12-31-2005, 09:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
~~Sabgoat~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 303	hey how come my picture thingy doesn't show up by my post like your's and everyone elses does??? just wondering haha.. or can you see it... hmmm i'm clearly new at this haha

01-01-2006, 06:16 AM	#8 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	The winter is depressing, its always so dark (but that's comforting to me...lmfao read my other song)and cold, brrr. That's my reasoning for the drepressing songs. EDIT: Yea, I just re-read that and your right, she does mean av. __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

01-01-2006, 10:36 AM	#9 (permalink)
~~Sabgoat~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 303	ahh i see.. thanks!.. i shall wait a while then.. oh well.. haha! and why the depressing songs.. cause well in comes from within my heart and soul where i've been hurt.. to me personally, i think the best songs i've heard are really depressing, like the lyrics..