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01-01-2006, 10:50 AM
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#11 (permalink) |
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 303
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i agree with you completely.. i'm not good by any means at writing songs.. just go read the ones i have posted on my site.. they suck and i know they do. but its just they come out of me and i'm alwyas looking for a honest opinion.. but ya.. i just need someone who knows what there at when it comes to song writing to give me a few pointers.. cause i really love writing songs.. and poems.. whatever.. haha
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01-01-2006, 10:55 AM
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#12 (permalink) |
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 303
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this is a poem i wrote a few months ago... anyways i think it would make a alright song.. haha.. thoughts anyone hahahha!... god i annoy myself sometimes..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scream Reaper You say your strong I think your weaker you say you’re slipping I think you should go deeper you say your feeling better I think you’re a lying faker Can you see your face in my eyes? Can you look beyond your lies? I hope you ****ing die You say you’re beautiful I think you’re un-natural You say you’re powerful I think you’re unfaithful You say you’re something special I think you’re so ugly it’s unbelievable Can you see your soul in mine? Can you really say your fine? I hear you speak but I want you to close your mouth how can you be so ****ing mean? I think you should look at me See the pain that you bleed |
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01-01-2006, 10:57 AM
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#13 (permalink) |
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that's my war face.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,418
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It's okay. Average. Mediocre. But don't settle for mediocre. Write better songs. Don't write ones that suck then post them up. There's no point. Waste of energy. When I first joined I used to do that. There's just one thing that I don't get about the song though-how can you be shameless but also lying in a grave of shame?
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01-01-2006, 11:22 AM
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#15 (permalink) | |
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a l'amou fou pou tout
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 355
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Quote:
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01-01-2006, 11:34 AM
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#16 (permalink) |
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 303
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the part i like the most are the last three lines.. i think its because from what i know. or have learned from alot of ex's.. is that when they do stupid things that hurt the person there in a relationship with.. such as "cheating" they can't seem to be able to look at the person they hurt, and try to turn it around as if they should get the pity.. i dunno.. pity is pointles but whwatver..t he last three lines mean the most to me out of all of it..
i don't really like the line "i think you're so ugly its unbelievable" but i dunno should i just cut it out completely? |
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01-01-2006, 12:28 PM
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#20 (permalink) |
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 303
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thanks.. finally it is complete.. think of anything else.. please do let me know.. cause to be real turthful i would have never been able to fix that up without peoples input.. cause me being the person that wrote it so ling ago.. i don't even like half the crap i write after reading it a few times.. so it all seems like **** to me after a while haha.. hmm! anywas
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. For the i think you're so ugly its unbelievable, it doesnt really go with the line before it, i think you should rephase it or something.
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