To Bleed From One's Eyes (lyrics, effects, covers, song)

TheNumber12LooksLikeMe · 12-31-2005, 08:08 PM

She bled from an area unexpected
and like rain it fell from the clouds
just the thought of you alive
is enough to bring down the sky
The faces turn white from the shock
of ten thousand shotgun hearts
beating through my chest
the pages fall out of the walls
of libraries
in a dimly lit city
whihc now encovers you as a tomb
if you do not understand why
you must die then my work goes unfinshed
as i stare straight into the sun I wonder
why the blood didn't wash off

madeinNY · 12-31-2005, 08:37 PM

For some reason I can't get a beat in my head for this song, but the lyrics are brilliant non the less, as always.

TheNumber12LooksLikeMe · 12-31-2005, 08:38 PM

yeah but this a rough draft.

madeinNY · 12-31-2005, 08:43 PM

Really? It looked very good though...like I said the lyrics are brilliant.

TheBig3 · 01-01-2006, 12:40 AM

"area unexpected" - too clinical, too removed, if this effects you emotionally, find another way to say this.

"and like rain it fell from the clouds" - Cliche

"just the thought of you alive
is enough to bring down the sky" - I like this it isn't bad, I hope you tell me why.

"The faces turn white from the shock
of ten thousand shotgun hearts
beating through my chest" - Its not bad, but faces do turn white from shock, hearts do beat in chests, their not cliche but their not imagined either. I'd jsut attempt to spruce them up.

the pages fall out of the walls
of libraries
in a dimly lit city

"whihc now encovers you as a tomb" - wait, who the **** is "you" and why did they die.

"if you do not understand why
you must die then my work goes unfinshed" too wordy, shorten it I'd say.

"as i stare straight into the sun I wonder
why the blood didn't wash off" this is ok, but if the city is dimly lit, whats wrong with this sun? Is the blood on the sun?

either/or · 01-01-2006, 01:55 AM

is this about that statue that cried blood. its good tho, you have a skill for writing.

12-31-2005, 08:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
TheNumber12LooksLikeMe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 56	To Bleed From One's Eyes She bled from an area unexpected and like rain it fell from the clouds just the thought of you alive is enough to bring down the sky The faces turn white from the shock of ten thousand shotgun hearts beating through my chest the pages fall out of the walls of libraries in a dimly lit city whihc now encovers you as a tomb if you do not understand why you must die then my work goes unfinshed as i stare straight into the sun I wonder why the blood didn't wash off __________________ My heart is on strings and wires

12-31-2005, 08:37 PM	#2 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	For some reason I can't get a beat in my head for this song, but the lyrics are brilliant non the less, as always. __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

12-31-2005, 08:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
TheNumber12LooksLikeMe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 56	yeah but this a rough draft. __________________ My heart is on strings and wires

12-31-2005, 08:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	Really? It looked very good though...like I said the lyrics are brilliant. __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

01-01-2006, 12:40 AM	#5 (permalink)
TheBig3 killedmyraindog Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 11,172	"area unexpected" - too clinical, too removed, if this effects you emotionally, find another way to say this. "and like rain it fell from the clouds" - Cliche "just the thought of you alive is enough to bring down the sky" - I like this it isn't bad, I hope you tell me why. "The faces turn white from the shock of ten thousand shotgun hearts beating through my chest" - Its not bad, but faces do turn white from shock, hearts do beat in chests, their not cliche but their not imagined either. I'd jsut attempt to spruce them up. the pages fall out of the walls of libraries in a dimly lit city "whihc now encovers you as a tomb" - wait, who the **** is "you" and why did they die. "if you do not understand why you must die then my work goes unfinshed" too wordy, shorten it I'd say. "as i stare straight into the sun I wonder why the blood didn't wash off" this is ok, but if the city is dimly lit, whats wrong with this sun? Is the blood on the sun? __________________ I've moved to a new address

01-01-2006, 01:55 AM	#6 (permalink)
either/or Don't think twice Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: A basement on the hill Posts: 352	is this about that statue that cried blood. its good tho, you have a skill for writing. __________________ Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation