Crowe's Songwriting Collection

Crowe · 03-21-2006, 02:35 AM

Ooo. Ok.. I see what you're saying about it seeing forced. How should I go about changing that... I won't take it out, because it adds to the story. Perhaps a little revision?

Jadix · 03-21-2006, 09:00 AM

how about

Your crimes against men it seems
have stained on the face of humanity
And today, through the loss of your integrity

Crashing Sun · 03-21-2006, 10:00 AM

Sorry I just skimmed this one with two major thoughts:

1. The last line rocks.
2. Where or what could the music be?

Crowe · 03-21-2006, 01:46 PM

Maybe...

Understand, your crimes against man,
have stained the face of humanity.
And today, through the loss of your integrity..

and to Crashing Sun-
I can merely fumble around with a guitar, I know basic chords, etc. I don't dare write music to my songs, because I won't do it justice. In any event, when I was writing it, I was influenced by the writing of Coheed and Cambria and Bob Dylan... when thinking about the song to music... I would say some sort of progressive sound, similar to the Mars Volta.

angel18 · 03-22-2006, 03:34 AM

I really like this. The flow is great and I think putting music to it would be great. Keep it up!

Franco · 03-24-2006, 11:15 AM

nice lyrics. You're brave putting that up online.

massupload · 03-24-2006, 05:17 PM

hate it!!!

Crowe · 03-25-2006, 03:42 AM

Part of an ongoing concept album I'm writing. This is just the song as a single though. It stands alone and I think the message is open to interpretation.

City Automaton Breeds the Imagination Rebellion

Another child born through medicated mother...
Spinal drip - born to a city southern.
Poor, so poor, I grow up and I'm poor.
Old man watches me on city street.
Falling down, skin melting on the hot ground.
He says through cracked lips and languid bones.
Little boy, it's here you'll stay. It's here you say?
Don't you hear what I say?
These black faults and asphalts are your destiny.
Can you handle this density?
The subject is sore, my lad, it hurts to be spoken.
But it must be spoken, he so spake to me.

Keep your wits sharp and your imagination keen.
This is how you leave the city behind,
and how you escape this skyscraper machine.

Now I'm the teller of ageless reason,
And as I sit in the freedoms of my last season.
I can only pass on the tale of my youth.
A park bench, in city southern,
observing faithless child and crying mother.
This cane balances old bones and I cross to child center.
Little boy, it's here you'll stay. It's here you say?
Don't you hear what I say?
These black faults and asphalts are your destiny.
Can you handle this density?
The subject is sore, my lad, it hurts to be spoken.
But it must be spoken, so I spake to he.

Keep your wits sharp and your imagination keen.
This is how you leave the city behind,
and how you escape this skyscraper machine.

either/or · 03-26-2006, 03:39 AM

man i love this song. its real good. especially this bit. Keep your wits sharp and your imagination keen.
This is how you leave the city behind,
and how you escape this skyscraper machine

Crashing Sun · 03-28-2006, 10:54 AM

Even P. Gabriel's lyrics aren't usually this busy (sort of but more concise). I'd be curious to see how the melody fits the song, unless this is progressive music, in which case maybe not.

03-21-2006, 02:35 AM	#71 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	Ooo. Ok.. I see what you're saying about it seeing forced. How should I go about changing that... I won't take it out, because it adds to the story. Perhaps a little revision? __________________

03-21-2006, 10:00 AM	#73 (permalink)
Crashing Sun Idontthinkyouknow Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Out of the Frying Pan Posts: 102	Sorry I just skimmed this one with two major thoughts: 1. The last line rocks. 2. Where or what could the music be? __________________ People Against People "Scientists in Taiwan say they have bred three pigs that glow in the dark." (Support Spam)

03-21-2006, 01:46 PM	#74 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	Maybe... Understand, your crimes against man, have stained the face of humanity. And today, through the loss of your integrity.. and to Crashing Sun- I can merely fumble around with a guitar, I know basic chords, etc. I don't dare write music to my songs, because I won't do it justice. In any event, when I was writing it, I was influenced by the writing of Coheed and Cambria and Bob Dylan... when thinking about the song to music... I would say some sort of progressive sound, similar to the Mars Volta. __________________

03-25-2006, 03:42 AM	#78 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	City Automaton Breeds the Imagination Rebellion Part of an ongoing concept album I'm writing. This is just the song as a single though. It stands alone and I think the message is open to interpretation. City Automaton Breeds the Imagination Rebellion Another child born through medicated mother... Spinal drip - born to a city southern. Poor, so poor, I grow up and I'm poor. Old man watches me on city street. Falling down, skin melting on the hot ground. He says through cracked lips and languid bones. Little boy, it's here you'll stay. It's here you say? Don't you hear what I say? These black faults and asphalts are your destiny. Can you handle this density? The subject is sore, my lad, it hurts to be spoken. But it must be spoken, he so spake to me. Keep your wits sharp and your imagination keen. This is how you leave the city behind, and how you escape this skyscraper machine. Now I'm the teller of ageless reason, And as I sit in the freedoms of my last season. I can only pass on the tale of my youth. A park bench, in city southern, observing faithless child and crying mother. This cane balances old bones and I cross to child center. Little boy, it's here you'll stay. It's here you say? Don't you hear what I say? These black faults and asphalts are your destiny. Can you handle this density? The subject is sore, my lad, it hurts to be spoken. But it must be spoken, so I spake to he. Keep your wits sharp and your imagination keen. This is how you leave the city behind, and how you escape this skyscraper machine. __________________

03-26-2006, 03:39 AM	#79 (permalink)
either/or Don't think twice Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: A basement on the hill Posts: 352	man i love this song. its real good. especially this bit. Keep your wits sharp and your imagination keen. This is how you leave the city behind, and how you escape this skyscraper machine __________________ Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation

03-21-2006, 09:00 AM	#72 (permalink)
Jadix infamous nimbus Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 140	how about Your crimes against men it seems have stained on the face of humanity And today, through the loss of your integrity

03-22-2006, 03:34 AM	#75 (permalink)
angel18 Music Addict Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 129	I really like this. The flow is great and I think putting music to it would be great. Keep it up!

03-24-2006, 11:15 AM	#76 (permalink)
Franco Groupie Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 2	nice lyrics. You're brave putting that up online.

03-24-2006, 05:17 PM	#77 (permalink)
massupload Groupie Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 15	hate it!!!

03-28-2006, 10:54 AM	#80 (permalink)
Crashing Sun Idontthinkyouknow Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Out of the Frying Pan Posts: 102	Even P. Gabriel's lyrics aren't usually this busy (sort of but more concise). I'd be curious to see how the melody fits the song, unless this is progressive music, in which case maybe not. __________________ People Against People "Scientists in Taiwan say they have bred three pigs that glow in the dark." (Support Spam)