VEGANGELICA

Hi, R. Crowe,
I realize it has been almost a year since you posted this poem, but I am just now getting to it since I am a new MB member.

The images that you use in this poem/song are very vivid, just as in your others that I've read. I like the density of your work: each word sounds as if it has been thought about very carefully and selected for a particular reason. Also, your subject matter is original and interesting (as in the previous poem, "Thomas"). You aren't afraid of dealing with "warped" feelings. Your poems are not Celine Dion's (which I feel is a good thing :-)

"Emma Bear" captures very thoroughly the disgusting emotion of feeling obliged to have sex with someone with whom you no longer feel a connection or respect, and the feeling of anger that this individual can love and want so much from you while not realizing you are not wanting to be involved (which, I would say, ideally would be something that is resolved through discussion *before* it gets to the stage the poem describes, but life and choices aren't ideal).

Some of the images/descriptions you create that have special impact on me are the following:

This describes well what it is like when sex is reduced to the mere physical (although actually I feel mental activity is physical...neurons firing, etc....but I think you know what I mean).

Ugh. My goodness. That is the perfect description.

"My detestable queen" succinctly converges the ironic, repulsive situation in which she is *supposed* to be your queen (she wants to be)...and part of you must have felt that you should be the king (otherwise you wouldn't have been continuing with the charade)...but you want nothing more than to be out (in a number of ways).

The poem is a very sad one, I feel, because it describes such a real situation with such physicality, and yet evades the whole question of right/wrong...it simply describes the feelings as they are, which is part of the poem's power. Both sides of the situation you describe are unpleasant to experience, and you capture the, in this case, male's perspective well...which is not to say that women can't also feel "caught" in a web of love and dependence they don't want. I would be interested, Crowe, to read what you would write if you were to make (up) a song about (what you imagine was) Emma Bear's view of the situation...that is, the mirror image poem to "Emma Bear."

--Erica

Crowe

Thank Veg. It has been quite some time since we've add a worthwhile critique on the board - I like to know that people still get into this thread and look around, very... humbling to have someone sit and read all of your work in a sitting - if that is, indeed, what you have done. "Emma Bear" is important to me because it is a song that I could comment on without conjecture like I had to do on some of my other popular pieces. Please come around more and feel free to comment on other work that you find worth your time, I'd be honored. Also check out Sleepy Jack's work, I know that he'd appreciate a fresh look on his old stuff.

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VEGANGELICA

Hi, Crowe,
Yes, I liked Emma Bear because it feels very real. I *am* working on getting through all your other poems plus people's responses, but haven't read all 30 plus pages yet! I do see you gravitate toward dramatic situations/stories that have painful occurrences in them: murder (infanticide), suicide, rejection, loneliness, death etc., but also love. I tend to like to tell stories, too, in songs...but I also like your "snapshot" of a brief time shown in Emma Bear, where the moment you describe explains the whole story without actually *telling* the whole story in the poem.

I actually have already visited Sleepy Jack's collection. He only has one poem now because he deleted the rest! Perhaps you didn't know...I am sorry to be the one to reveal this sad truth (moment of silence for the deleted poems).
--Veg

Crowe

Hello there precious!

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Crowe

*takes a moment*

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Crowe

Once again you have been able to find relevance in a work that reaches far beyond the scope intended when I first sat down to write the piece. You have turned a lilting story of a homicidal baby (or is it the narrator?) into something socially and even philosophically applicable. I should pay you to review all of my stuff, though I think you'd be wasting your time on some of my stinkers. It's nice, though, one of the reasons that several of the more prolific and talented MB songwriters have slowed down in their song production is due to lack of decent reviews and reviewERS as it were. Your presence here is raising the bar and bringing back the life just by sitting down and typing out some of the most well thought-out reviews I've seen on here. It is now our duty to return the favor to you.

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shapley6

this is amazing i achally love it .....