Crowe's Songwriting Collection

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 02-12-2007, 12:18 AM

Figuritive language is overrated. This is perfection.

Strummer521 · 02-12-2007, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

Figuritive language is overrated.

Personally I find poetry more interesting when it's not completely straightforward. If you're not gonna be a bit subtle, it might make more sense to write prose.

Crowe · 02-12-2007, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strummer521

Personally I find poetry more interesting when it's not completely straightforward. If you're not gonna be a bit subtle, it might make more sense to write prose.

These are lyrics to a song I've written, not a stand alone poem. Although, some people might argue that lyrics are just poems set to music (although, the means are sometimes contrasting to the end variably)... in that case: All poetry does not deal with figurative language, and not all GOOD poetry deals with figurative language - so instead of applying that personal preference to all of your poetic encounters - and then telling people what makes "sense", perhaps you might go out and broaden your poetic horizon? I'm not saying this out of ignorance or spite mind you, but in fact - prose and verse (and all it entails) happens to be my field of study. "Sense" you might find in retrospect is not the best word to be throwing around (here, especially). Thank you for taking the time to read my piece.

PS.
And just so my words are not without merit, I'll point you to a couple of songs that you may or may not know that have little/no figurative language and tell a story without much subtlety:

Bob Dylan - The Hurricane
Alkaline Trio - Clavicle
The Beatles - Penny Lane

Strummer521 · 02-12-2007, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowe

perhaps you might go out and broaden your poetic horizon?

I said it might make more sense, might meaning not always and varying based on individual situation. And granted, I'm a big fan of Bukowski who's about as direct as they come. But he's got panache. He's very creative in his presentation. This poem like a straightforward distillation of facts. Iwas just making a suggestion I thought might spice up the presentation (and make us think a bit as we read) and I was bothered by the guy who called figurative language overrated, since it's one of the most important things in Literature (a big part of what separates it from didactic prose) and I was trying to defend my opinion on fig. language in general more than dissing your poem.

Where do you study literature BTW? (just curious).

skindredluver · 02-12-2007, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZeppelinAir

deep...........at least to me anyway

I agree that was freakin awsome!I wish I could write like that!

Crowe · 02-26-2007, 04:29 AM

Another Happy Ending

Save my son, he's sick.
Doctor if you could just please try?
I know it seems useless,
But please don't make me beg.
He's still got a heartbeat and that's what counts.
Don't ask him, he doesn't understand.
Let me explain with "words" now.

My son isn't most eloquent boy,
He does not think like we do.
Instead of speaking clearly,
He mutters through frozen lips,
A jaw bone not fully formed.
But it is beautiful when he smiles.
A brilliant star on darkened dune.

My son isn't the strongest boy,
He cannot lift himself out of bed.
But once we get him to his feet,
And he looks around the room,
Even though his muscles are limp,
He stands strong for a brief moment.
A monument amongst the ruins.

My son isn't the smartest boy,
Perhaps he couldn't add up one and two.
He knows when you're pointing,
And he knows when you're staring.
When he asks why he's different,
His tears are waiting to spill.
Burns like blood in acid veins.

My son isn't the problem though.
He is my pride and joy.
When he laughs I cry.
I'll never leave his side even when,
Times are tough, the well is dry.
He is the perfect boy you see?
The heartbeat of my short life.

Doctor I don't want to see him die.
You're shaking your head,
You say you're sorry and,
That I should just close my eyes.

Unplugged.

My son is "happy" now.

R. Crowe

sleepy jack · 02-26-2007, 04:38 AM

Just a suggestion for the first verse.

"Let me explain with "words" now."

Seems like to me it would just flow better.

Also maybe on the final line you should trade happy for happier? It just seems like it come across as more powerful to me at least.

Its fantastic though.

Crowe · 02-26-2007, 04:40 AM

i agree on all points.

sleepy jack · 02-26-2007, 04:41 AM

Wooo I helped!

Crowe · 02-26-2007, 11:35 PM

anyone?

02-26-2007, 04:29 AM	#296 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	Another Happy Ending Another Happy Ending Save my son, he's sick. Doctor if you could just please try? I know it seems useless, But please don't make me beg. He's still got a heartbeat and that's what counts. Don't ask him, he doesn't understand. Let me explain with "words" now. My son isn't most eloquent boy, He does not think like we do. Instead of speaking clearly, He mutters through frozen lips, A jaw bone not fully formed. But it is beautiful when he smiles. A brilliant star on darkened dune. My son isn't the strongest boy, He cannot lift himself out of bed. But once we get him to his feet, And he looks around the room, Even though his muscles are limp, He stands strong for a brief moment. A monument amongst the ruins. My son isn't the smartest boy, Perhaps he couldn't add up one and two. He knows when you're pointing, And he knows when you're staring. When he asks why he's different, His tears are waiting to spill. Burns like blood in acid veins. My son isn't the problem though. He is my pride and joy. When he laughs I cry. I'll never leave his side even when, Times are tough, the well is dry. He is the perfect boy you see? The heartbeat of my short life. Doctor I don't want to see him die. You're shaking your head, You say you're sorry and, That I should just close my eyes. Unplugged. My son is "happy" now. R. Crowe __________________ Last edited by Crowe; 02-26-2007 at 04:40 AM.

02-26-2007, 04:40 AM	#298 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	i agree on all points. __________________

02-26-2007, 11:35 PM	#300 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	anyone? __________________