Crowe's Songwriting Collection

Crowe · 02-08-2007, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill

Jeeez, I like it.
I don't really get the husbands secret, this could be a problem with my state of mind though.

He kills folks.

sleepy jack · 02-08-2007, 04:27 AM

Ah, I kind of thought that with the red wine thing but I wasn't sure.

*is dumb*

Sneer · 02-08-2007, 08:08 AM

very good.

Crowe · 02-10-2007, 06:00 AM

The only thing someone could ask for before they take their final journey.

Last Will and Testament of Ryan Crowe

I want to be remembered,
For the things I had said,
As though my words helped you live,
My words are scribbled in pages,
Of your child's notebook and,
Carved into the insides of your mouth.

I want to be forgotten,
Should I cause you pain,
And left by the wayside again,
My actions erased from memories,
Leaving only the good times,
In the hollows of your bones.

I want to be celebrated,
For the love I used to spread,
Because even after my death,
The impact carries on,
Through the hearts of my own,
Into the hearths of their homes.

I want to be hated,
Should I leave the earth in strife,
As if a single tear were shed,
From the fear of my name,
If it passes your lips like poison,
Burn my picture by candlelight.

I want to be loved,
My funeral is a gathering,
For all of those who cared.
Sing songs to my coffin,
With no sign of pain or despair.
Sing to my memory, like I'm singing to you today.

R. Crowe

Crowe · 02-10-2007, 06:03 AM

*bump*

Loser · 02-10-2007, 08:58 AM

Really good

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 02-10-2007, 09:29 AM

Make his secret a bit more clear, other than that, bravo, my man. Brafckingvo. Lol.

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 02-10-2007, 09:35 AM

Burn my picture by candlelight. < Then burn... Other than that, I really dug this though.

Crowe · 02-10-2007, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

Burn my picture by candlelight. < Then burn... Other than that, I really dug this though.

oh add then to the word burn? i'll try that out. Thx Phap!@

Everyone else, how does the Then look?

Trauma · 02-10-2007, 02:33 PM

Then is not necessary.

I liked it for the most part, but it's disappointing; it's not one of your best works, and the subject matter is extremely resolute.
Maybe you understand where I'm coming from.

Good things I noticed were: good flow and imagery.
Bad things I noticed were: the excess commas, those seem completely useless, because the flow in this poem isn't the same as "The Warmth in Those Dying Years" or "She Smiled For All of Us", the words don't cross over lines to begin new thoughts.
Too simple.
Maybe it's just the fact that it didn't evoke much emotion, it seemed too monotonous and plain to be describing your last will in this world.
Even more so seeing as how the poem is actually about you personally.

02-08-2007, 08:08 AM	#273 (permalink)
Sneer Let it drip Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 5,430	very good. __________________ LastFM Sneer's Emporium of Sound Fright Team radio show

02-10-2007, 06:00 AM	#274 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	The Last Will and Testament of Ryan Crowe The only thing someone could ask for before they take their final journey. Last Will and Testament of Ryan Crowe I want to be remembered, For the things I had said, As though my words helped you live, My words are scribbled in pages, Of your child's notebook and, Carved into the insides of your mouth. I want to be forgotten, Should I cause you pain, And left by the wayside again, My actions erased from memories, Leaving only the good times, In the hollows of your bones. I want to be celebrated, For the love I used to spread, Because even after my death, The impact carries on, Through the hearts of my own, Into the hearths of their homes. I want to be hated, Should I leave the earth in strife, As if a single tear were shed, From the fear of my name, If it passes your lips like poison, Burn my picture by candlelight. I want to be loved, My funeral is a gathering, For all of those who cared. Sing songs to my coffin, With no sign of pain or despair. Sing to my memory, like I'm singing to you today. R. Crowe __________________ Last edited by Crowe; 02-10-2007 at 03:07 PM.

02-10-2007, 06:03 AM	#275 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	bump __________________

02-10-2007, 02:33 PM	#280 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	Then is not necessary. I liked it for the most part, but it's disappointing; it's not one of your best works, and the subject matter is extremely resolute. Maybe you understand where I'm coming from. Good things I noticed were: good flow and imagery. Bad things I noticed were: the excess commas, those seem completely useless, because the flow in this poem isn't the same as "The Warmth in Those Dying Years" or "She Smiled For All of Us", the words don't cross over lines to begin new thoughts. Too simple. Maybe it's just the fact that it didn't evoke much emotion, it seemed too monotonous and plain to be describing your last will in this world. Even more so seeing as how the poem is actually about you personally. __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño

02-10-2007, 08:58 AM	#276 (permalink)
Loser The Professor Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York City Posts: 1,113	Really good