my poems
 

Happy Holidays
I give to you one white dove
For i have the other
I give you this
So you will always know that you are loved
Even if we part
For as long as we both have each in our heart
Then we will truly never be apart
I gave my prayer for you to this dove
Who embraces this message
And will whisper it to the heavens
And to the Angels above
Happy Holidays


Cant seem to figure out
Cant seem to figure out
If we're still friends anymore
Things seem to be changing
And not for the better more
We thought we would be BFF
But i dont know if thats still true
I guess we'll have to go with the flow
And see if we carry on through
I dont really know if i can even trust you


Realization
Im drowning
Without your touch
Call me crazy
Crazy in love
You people gotta understand
Im lonely without my man
Come back to me
Forgive & Forget boo
If i could go back in time, i would
But i cant
Dont let this end this way

I had a lot of time to think of
How insane i was
Cant believe the foolish things
I, myself, committed
Thats over and done with hun
A new me, fresh start
Oh! How funny life is


Untitled
What did i do to you
To make you walk away
What did i say
To make you act this way
I'm on the edge of letting you go
Don't dare to think i won't do so
I don't need you to live


Realization & Untitled are not about me, just to get that clear.

No wonder you lost your boyfriend if you gave him a dove.

hobo be nice.

They are cliche...but they're kinda real I guess. It's how you feel. And there's nothing wrong with that...but to me, my favorite part of a poem is trying to decipher what it means...what your stuff does is just straight up...maybe you should work on that a little ;)

umm yeah and BFF? dont use things like that in a poem. and also use full words. like 'know' instead of 'kno' its not a msn conversation man, its a piece of artwork.

i gave the "dove" to my sister just to set it straight. Plus im still with my boyfriend, never lost him.

Realization & Untitled are not about me

Nicely said either/or, I think they are okay. Did you get the white dove thing from one of the Home Alone movies?

moses, i'm thinking she got it from the 12 days of Xmass song....

no moses is right, i got the idea off of Home Alone.

either/or, i dont use "kno" or abbreviations all the time

Oh, sorry, my bad. lol

fair enough crazy wild lover. just checking.

^^Interesting...a music critique who can't spell.

I thought they were way cliched and are these your first ones? Cause i can understand then..

yea, those were the first poems, my latest are better

uh oh crazy luv got an avatar and its a black guy!

Isn't it the same guy as in Dirt McGirts av??

Dirt McGirts?
*laughing* not just a black man, its Tupac


just looked up who Dirt McGirts was & saw his avatar...THAT is not Tupac!!

Ermm..sorry. lol They looked the same!!

http://www.musicbanter.com/image.php...ine=1107317531

http://www.musicbanter.com/image.php...ine=1135780485


*lol* they hardly look the same, yea, they're both black, but damn

Listen, I'm not racist, lol, but at the avatar dimensions and my going eye site, they look the same. lmao

*lmao* your funny & i know your not racist.

I try :D

But seriously...my eyes. My granpa see's better than I do.

awwww:laughing: <that expresses my reaction to what ya said

:D I'm glad someone around here appreciates my humorous effort.

Quit spamming and get back on topic christ.
and after going through the poems they're decent but the rhyming is a bit off sometimes.
It aint bad though.

rhyming is a bit off, its way off cause i wasnt even rhyming at all :rolleyes:

Poems tend to rhyme its usually what makes them good, and i didn't read the whole thread, i didn't see you say you didn't wanna make it rhyme.

Usually its the good poems that don't rhyme...IMHO.
My mom writes some kick ass poetry, she's won awards, none of her's rhymes.

lol. thats amazing. I hate you hobo, but thats good stuff.

yes some tend to. & rhyming to me, is not what makes them good.

okay, but where did you see me indicate that i wanted it to?

I think a poem needs rhyme and or flow to sound good and after reading these they had neither, and they weren't written flowerly.

Have you read my mom's poems?

Where the hell did that come from?
This isn't about your mom this is about these poems.

...

I didn't even respond to that post now did I?

Nope. But it kinda reinforces my point if you have read the poems, I think she posted a few on here actually.

Okay............but still, they werent meant to be "flowerly", is that even a ****ing word?

I think he meant...um..."flowey"...??

Flowery my bad, and im my opinion (OH MY F*CKING GOD) i think poetry needs to be fun to read and flow and rhyme cause to be honest poetry that isn't flowery,doesnt rhyme and has no flow isn't very good but thats just my opinion so continue to tell me to shutup.

who told you to shut up? are you on something?

im accepting your opinion, never said i wasnt

I never told you to shut-up.