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12-25-2005, 10:21 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1
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Opinion on lyrics
I wrote these lyrics, they're not really completely done, but I figured maybe I could get some feedback from people I don't know. Oh and if anyone has an idea for a title or suggestions I'd appreciate it.
If not you love Then I will have no other So I made a wish on this dollar [I tossed it underwater, And watched it sink down and down and down and down.....] You'll suffocate between his sheets I guess that makes me just as selfish as you [And she loves the winter... ...Don't you wish you could bring back the summer?] How can you try to replace this bullet with a kiss on the cheek? ["Listen babe, it's just for now, let's be friends, we'll see where it goes"] So here's the truth, Wrapped up nice in a box Full of the best intentions And enclosed with careful directions ["What's the difference between us and friends?" "Friends don't kiss each other on the lips."] So here's the truth And I guess it served its purpose You make me hate everything about myself And this dollar is what you're worth Keep your hands to yourself love [I'll still make your toes curl under] You know where mine will end up [And I'll still get nothing back] Forget about those nights ["I'll walk you half way home,"] We'd kiss with upset stomachs [Yeah you can promise all you want] Keep your eyes closed tight love ["It's nothing you did wrong] I don't wanna know who you've been kissing [But it's much too hard to explain"] I still want you back love |
12-28-2005, 02:32 AM | #2 (permalink) | |
a l'amou fou pou tout
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 355
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to say the truth, the only part i liked was
Quote:
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12-28-2005, 02:47 AM | #3 (permalink) |
Don't think twice
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: A basement on the hill
Posts: 352
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yeah that was a good bit. the rest....a bullet for a kiss? it sounds like your writing a theme song for a dark film noir about a private eye or something.
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Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation |