DontRunMeOver

Hey Oojay’s “shining” like when he hugs men in a rasslin’ match
Was it shining from your bald head or shining from your bald snatch?
He shaved his whole person as part of a doctor’s prescription
To stop him from “unleashing piles” cos that’s one nasty affliction
Now Hobo may work packing bags to make dough
But that’s better than the bags Oojay pulls in an OAP home
He went to see his granny
But instead he found some fanny
They said that he looked innocent
But he was being canny
I asked him why he liked to mate
With chickens well past use by date
He said the stale piss smell, it turns him on
Keeps them wet and keeps his legs warm
But let’s not laugh, love comes in all forms
Just hope he’s not still at them once they’ve gone to the worms
I’m gonna poke fun at wrestling instead
At those guys with massive arses and teeny-tiny heads
Where give themselves silly names and prance around in spandex
Then cuddle up tight and grope each others man-breasts
Oojay’s so besotted with something so homo-erotic?
There’s undercurrents with this guy I think you might have spotted…

TrampInaTux

DRMO and hobo rocking the scene/
pleasing your ears and making your moms fanny gleam/
I'm spitting rhymes like a rapping machine/
this is a beating like you ain't never seen/
but you won't see it you'll feel it in your bones/
but now the bone you get when your down the old folks home/
DRMO said it best/
you like old women's breasts/
so may I suggest/
your Mom has a fine chest/
We get on the bed and pull off a few moves of our own/
the Cumplex, deepthroat slam and the mighty bone/
I let her pin me down and I let your Dad count to 3/
He said your mom was off limits but he made an exception for me/
So don't cry, here's a tissue wipe them tears/
and you can reuse that tissue for later, when you're thinking of queers/
cos we all know that oojay likes sweaty man boobs/
he likes to watch man love then slap on the lube/
he tries to jump in but they just push him away/
He thought he might get some action if he turned into a ***!/
But even they don't like his kind around here/
If you're ugly you're ugly-don't matter if you're straight or queer/
So this is it now don't come back for more/
this is MY house and I've just shown you the door...

[MERIT]

its time to knuckle up/
you niggaz better buckle up/
i see the fear in your eyes every time that i pass/
you make one false move and i'ma whoop your a$$/
ill break you and shake you/
theres no question that i can take you/
im sorry about last night/
did me and your mama wake you?/
now shes walkin' funny like a pirate with a peg/
youre goin' nowhere in life like a dog with one leg/
youre still makin' fun of wrestling?/
those rhymes are gettin' old/
ive seen the cards that youre holdin'/
i think its time for you to fold/
just 'cuz you can rhyme 2 lines doesnt make you a rapper/
i see youre fulla $hit but that doesnt make you a crapper/
but if youre callin' out and you wanna throw hands/
youd better think twice/
youd better talk to my fans/
whether in the ring or on the mic nobody can beat me/
many have tried but no one can defeat me/
ill have you walkin' with a limp just like a rock in your shoe/
youre about to get burned like a 1940's jew/
i can see you pickin' up chicks
"hey baby whats your sign?"/
"can i buy you a drink?"/
"your place or mine?"/
im about to rearrange your face like a brazillian plastic surgeon/
i just read your autobiography its called the 40 year old virgin/

explosions-in-my-pants

i wrote this a while ago its not that good.. but me and my friends funny as hell.. or hearing me rap was funny as hell.. either way here it is
i'm not sure how this thing Rap Battles works.. so i going to post it for the hell of it.. hmm so one can inform me of whatever after words..

They call me pornstar
they say i'm hot
lil do thay know i smoke the pot
they call me sexy
cause i'm a blonde
but they don't hear me when i sing the song
i play the games
like the players do
but listen
i won't play you
i'll rock your world
you'll be screaming my name
but if we get caught
don't gimmie no blame
i'm here for you
i ain't in it for rules
i ain't in it for heart break
i wore those shoes
cause i'm the chick
i ain't in it for cocks
i just want some lovin
but you got my heart baby
so don't give me no change
you got me for free
no gold no money i see
i ain't about all that shit
cause i ain't like that stupid bitch

DontRunMeOver

MOMMA said be a doctor
She always though I’d make a good GP
But when there’s a bug around I’m always first to get it
That’s why I’d never want to be a medic
POPPA said be an accountant
Because looking after money will make you rich
But all those numbers make my eyes itch
I’ll never sail the wide accountancy
My BROTHER said start up a website
Become a dot com business type
But HTML is my idea of hell
Me and computers don’t get on very well
YOUR MOTHER says I should be a pornstar
And I have to say that I agree
After I’ve got the tools
A twelve inch knob and massive balls
Getting laid can be my trade
Two hundred pounds an hour just for humping away
Easy work
With plenty of perks
You meet a lot of girls and don’t have to wear a shirt

DontRunMeOver

Mocking wrestling’s getting old?
No way, that joke will last forever
There’s no way we’re gonna shut up
About your greasy-men endeavours
You say that you can ‘take’ me?
What, like you ‘took’ those other guys?
The time you couldn’t see for two weeks when they squirted in your eyes?
Took them round the bike shed when you didn’t own a bike
Offered them a can of coke, they didn’t know it was spiked
Smeared the jelly on your thumb and put it where you liked
I’ve never seen someone use a rap to make a pass
I guess you’re getting frisky, said you’re gonna “woop my a$$”?
Too right I’m getting scared, your sexual preference is unsettling
You’re eyeing up my ring, and I don’t mean wrestling
Hahaha, you and my momma, she was out last night fool
But my grandmother was in, it was her that you screwed
If you can call it screwing – she described this “tiny little winkle,
That tried to come in, but couldn’t make it past the first wrinkle”

TrampInaTux

If you can count then add up this sum/
oojay we got you outnumbered-2 to 1/
we got you cornered this battle ain't no longer for fun/
you're just a peashooter-we are the real guns/
don't hate cos this is what we do/
make up incredible rhymes, post them then bully you/
go run to your mommy, crying with your thumb in your mouth/
and while you're at it ask her if its still wet down south/
don't worry if you don't understand, you're still only young/
you don't need to know that your Moms got my love milk in her lungs/
just carry on finger painting, its nap time oojay-SLEEP!/
your Moms been around son-she's made my d1ck weep/
I heard that she stands on corners pulling truckers/
transexuals, lesbians, all sorts of motherfuckers/
she don't care she's just expressing her womanhood/
she don't care who packs the meat, she can close her eyes then it's all good/
she had me, your aunt, then DRMO/
I hate to break the news kid but yo mammas a ho/
she does thing that you probably don't want to know/
she goes places where no other girls will go/
son your Moms special-special needs/
it took me 5 seconds before she was down on her knees/
she was licking the meat like it was a fucking ice cream/
she shined it so much I looked like Mr Sheen/
Now kid I don't want to disrespect your Dad/
but your Mom said I was the best that she's ever had/
so now I'm ready, I've polished up my head/
I'm going on a field trip-between your Moms legs...

[MERIT]

im the lyrical assassin/
ill cut you so fast you wont know what happened/
im about to turn your grin into a frown/
like a blind man on an elevator you wont even see whats goin' down/
just like a waitress at denny's im leavin' you a tip/
if you mess with me then jay-z wont be the only one with a fat lip/
im like an alchemist cuz everything i touch turns to gold/
your rhymes are so old the motherf**kers are growin' mold/
why didnt you tell me your mama was ugly?!/
i was in her window sneakin' a peek/
the difference between your mom and a bag of trash/
at least trash gets taken our once a week/
youre stuck in one place like an exercise bike/
im like a crazy Arab cuz im blowin up the mic/
ill break you like a kit kat/
when a dozen shots leave my gat/
turn to your wife and tip my hat/
at the end of the night ill have my d1ck in her a$$/
just cuz you may think so doesnt mean youve won the battle/
me losin' to you is like "the bus" losin' to seattle/
it aint never happenin'/
its nothin' but a dream/
you beatin' me is like gary coleman beatin' kareem/
remember this whoopin'/
write it down in your journal/
you may look fine right now/
but youre bleedin' internal/
how am i supposed to be scared of someone whos admitted defeat/
fenix got you first and now the torch is passed to me/

DontRunMeOver

What you touch turns to gold?
Ah man, you could have warned us
When my granny turned yellow
We thought she had jaundice

__________________

[MERIT]

nice one