My wee mock-up (lyrics, song)

Merkaba · 11-14-2005, 10:12 PM

Magic Green

In the middle of a sphere,
The corners cave in,
Sear the truth as nought
When there is nothing coming from within.

Suicidal Plant
Grind it up and choke it down
It only comes back up
After your soul falls over

Fight your addiction
It's the only thing left to do
And all other battles subside
For even they can't compete with the addiction in you.

Suicidal Plant
Grind it up and choke it down
It only comes back up
After your soul falls over

It will all crumble beneath
The moment you rise above
Seeking help from the outside
Holds no rewards until it comes from the inside.

Suicidal Plant

Don't let it drag you under.

Electric Eye · 11-14-2005, 11:11 PM

Nice!

Merkaba · 11-15-2005, 04:23 PM

Thanks, yeah thats the first song I've ever written. The forums were dead so I made a song.

Fenixpunk · 11-15-2005, 04:25 PM

not too shabby, the first two lines though..theres no corners in a sphere, im sure theres a better way to word that.

Merkaba · 11-15-2005, 04:34 PM

I know that, It was based around hallucinations....seeing things...

I guess it does seem a little cheesy.

tambo · 11-29-2005, 07:38 AM

the whole 'i know that' thing is annoying. If that guy didn't get it, then chances are no one else will. but otherwise, cool song. i do like the chorus.

one_more_atrocity · 11-29-2005, 09:01 AM

kool, i thought that that was good. *thumbs up!!!*

DontRunMeOver · 11-29-2005, 09:37 AM

This one's a lot better than the other one you posted Merkaba! Good, interesting and original phrases.

The 'corners of a sphere' bit I quite liked actually, as I imagined the surface of a sphere collapsing in and making a kind of expanding-origami-star shape.

Merkaba · 11-29-2005, 11:39 PM

Tambo, the lyrics are there to think about. It may seem a strange concept but some people do like reading between the lines. Thanks for your words though, every angle of opinion is welcome.

Thanks DRMO, haha is it like the 3D sceensaver on Windows? Where the box becomes spikes which becomes a ball which becomes a square etc? Thank you anyway. It's strange that the first one is better then the second

Oh well, I've always been rather inconsistant in my efforts.

Cheese · 11-30-2005, 12:31 AM

That wasn't half bad

11-14-2005, 10:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,885	My wee mock-up Magic Green In the middle of a sphere, The corners cave in, Sear the truth as nought When there is nothing coming from within. Suicidal Plant Grind it up and choke it down It only comes back up After your soul falls over Fight your addiction It's the only thing left to do And all other battles subside For even they can't compete with the addiction in you. Suicidal Plant Grind it up and choke it down It only comes back up After your soul falls over It will all crumble beneath The moment you rise above Seeking help from the outside Holds no rewards until it comes from the inside. Suicidal Plant Don't let it drag you under. __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

11-15-2005, 04:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,885	Thanks, yeah thats the first song I've ever written. The forums were dead so I made a song. __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

11-15-2005, 04:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	not too shabby, the first two lines though..theres no corners in a sphere, im sure theres a better way to word that. __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

11-15-2005, 04:34 PM	#5 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,885	I know that, It was based around hallucinations....seeing things... I guess it does seem a little cheesy. __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

11-29-2005, 07:38 AM	#6 (permalink)
tambo Groupie Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 18	'' the whole 'i know that' thing is annoying. If that guy didn't get it, then chances are no one else will. but otherwise, cool song. i do like the chorus.

11-14-2005, 11:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
Electric Eye Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 93	Nice!

11-29-2005, 09:01 AM	#7 (permalink)
one_more_atrocity lolocaust Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: birmingham, uk Posts: 354	kool, i thought that that was good. thumbs up!!! __________________ .::: I'd redecorate the walls with your inner thoughts, but im afraid it's the wrong shade of red :::.

11-29-2005, 09:37 AM	#8 (permalink)
DontRunMeOver They call me Tundra Boy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: In your linen cupboard. Posts: 1,166	This one's a lot better than the other one you posted Merkaba! Good, interesting and original phrases. The 'corners of a sphere' bit I quite liked actually, as I imagined the surface of a sphere collapsing in and making a kind of expanding-origami-star shape.

11-29-2005, 11:39 PM	#9 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,885	Tambo, the lyrics are there to think about. It may seem a strange concept but some people do like reading between the lines. Thanks for your words though, every angle of opinion is welcome. Thanks DRMO, haha is it like the 3D sceensaver on Windows? Where the box becomes spikes which becomes a ball which becomes a square etc? Thank you anyway. It's strange that the first one is better then the second Oh well, I've always been rather inconsistant in my efforts. __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

11-30-2005, 12:31 AM	#10 (permalink)
Cheese Shadow on the wall Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 823	That wasn't half bad