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-   -   Help with a sonnet (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/11349-help-sonnet.html)

bungalow 12-01-2005 05:30 PM

Ok...I just finished mine. What would you grade it, knowing that I am a student and not a poet. And that it was very forced

My pride is like a blanket to my eyes
I have become my own worst enemy
I’m left with none but wicked alibis
And with my arrogance that frightens me
All of my sins fall beyond forgiveness
And all of my faults are beyond compare
My indulgence a crime beyond excess
For I live a life beyond repair
But what has the man who has but himself
Except a lifetimes worth of his regrets
I hang my foolish pride upon the shelf
Occupied by self indulgent debts

There is no couplet....still working on that.....
The only part I really dislike is
"Left with none but wicked alibis"
that line blows...the rest is ok

Zezima 12-01-2005 05:44 PM

don't worry, mines worse.


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