Nunslaughter – Hells Unholy Fire
Well that's original: starts off with the sound of crackling flames. “I am deaf?” Oh no, “I am Death”. That certainly makes more sense. Oh, and a demonic dark laugh, sure why not? Oddly enough I can actually make out the vocals which I thought I wouldn't be able to, and yes, they do sound like some kid practicing in his bedroom with his mates. What age is this guy, or was he at the time of recording? Could look it up but I really don't care. Drummer seems just to be randomly hitting the skins, guitar is, well, there, but no presence and yes, it's so buried (hah!) in the mix that most of the time it's hard to hear it. I suppose that's so that you can concentrate on the Grand Master Pimple doing his best to sing, and let me tell you, his best ain't good. Ah, it's so cute when he tries to be evil. Lord this is terrible.
The songs (I'm being generous here) all sound the same and there's no character or identity to the music at all. I will give them that the song titles can be hilarious when they're not simply cliche, like “I am Death”, “Blaspheny”, “Burning Away” and “Seas of Blood”. But songs like “Inverted Churches” (how exactly do you invert a church, Varg? No, no! If you burn it down it's not – ah. Too late. Oh well) are just side-splittingly funny. “Death by the Dead” is another good one. I mean, what the hell (excuse my language) does that mean? “Perversion of Gore” sounds like they really want so bad to be grindcore or goregrind or something, but they ain't got no chance. Quite amusing too how he seems to keep belching from time to time: Pepto-Bismol, anyone? In a black bottle, of course.
Hey, at least all the songs are very short. Guess they couldn't handle longer ones. Frankly, neither could I. But I think on balance, even though this is an awful album, I have to award points for comic relief and for sheer thick numbskullery, as I'm certain - certain! - these guys are taking this seriously. Hilarious. Deserves an extra cleaver for that.
http://www.trollheart.com/cleaver2.jpg
Note: I posted this review with eight tracks yet to go. Somehow, I doubt anything in any of them is likely to give me a change of heart! :laughing:
