You have a small penis.

Yeah, you did. Start with genre foundations, not with new releases....

Try "Jesus' Tod" by Burzum from the Filosofem record if you want to try the whole hypnotic riff angle. Hellhammer's "Euronymous" is enormously influential to countless bands. These two tracks should give you a brief but appropriate introduction to the genre.

Witchery- Witchery - YouTube

They sound like a straight metal version of Iron Monkey. Pretty cool. Haven't heard of Witchery before.

Aeon are a pretty generic death metal band. The thing that sets them apart for me, is that they are as intense and brutal as any DM band that you could listen to, and yet they are legitimately catchy, but not in a melodic way. The cheesy Satanism/anti-religion thing they've got going on is pretty fun too.

Witchery are basically a Swedish supergroup who put a straight-forward thrash/speed metal sound based around horror themes (so not very original) but they were consistent and always fun to listen to, as a lot of metal should be.

Real fun Venom cover. Doggone-it if this don't sound bluesy.

Best cover of No Quarter. I always thought if Tool could pull off a LZ song, it'd be this one.

Jaszoon turned me on to this band, and I am so glad he did, because they are freaking amazing. Powerviolence, sludge metal, death metal... whatever man, it's all good. Super bass-heavy hard-as-hell goodness.

Also, this song sort of sounds like it was recorded in a jungle, what with all the random beeps and ambient sounds... it's a really cool effect.

The first half of this song is death metal, then the second half throws in some industrial that isn't too far away from Laibach. Pretty sweet.