The Official Tool Thread

[BastardofYoung]

Originally Posted by Janszoon

Heh. I was going to link to that myself but didn't want to turn this into a conversation about Radiohead.

I was hoping it was him that wrote one of the reviews from pitchfork I actually get a laugh from, but it wasn't.

The review for "Tiny Music" by Stone Temple Pilots = I can't help but get a chuckle.

Though I admit to being in love with Stone Temple Pilots' last record (and to some extent, the record before that), there's nothing for sale at the Vatican Gift Shop but lousy, repetitive riffs, wimpy lyrics, and a drug-addled sonofabitch that should have OD'ed a long time ago. The only thing even vaguely appealing about this smelly hunk of digital turd, is all the heroin jokes it allows you to make up about Scott Weiland.

I don't know if you noticed this, but parts of the big hit single, "Big Bang Baby" are direct rip-offs of the old Rolling Stones tune, "Jumpin' Jack Flash," and they should have even known better than to steal lines from a song that is completely chiseled into every living person's brain. "Big Bang Baby / It's a crash, crash, crash." fuck you, Weiland. You suck so bad that even your band hates you. And after lousing it up your chances to open for Kiss on their reunion tour, who wouldn't?

Oh, other insightful lyrics on the record include "I Can't Walk / I Can't Talk / Booze / I Can Booze / Steal Your Shoes." He's a poet, and we don't know it. So, Scott, here's what you do: Get out of bed, tie yourself off, and fall directly into space forever. But don't just do it for yourself, do it for me.

-Ryan Schreiber