Ms_Laliness

Media Frenzy
By Grethe Koen


So I consider myself a rocker and love alternative music like the tap-dancing child I will one day have. But I have a guilty confession to make…I love pop music. I love it so much that I want to roll around in it. I want to rub it over my skin and swallow it and poop it out again. The more trashy pop is, the more I love it. The more it reeks of plastic and fakery the more I want to shove it up my nostrils. The more booty shaking I see the more I want. The more money being tossed around on screen the more I squeal with delight.

I like pop because it’s never had scruples about what it is. Its shameless industry manufactured music catering for the masses…it’s called pop because it’s POPULAR music. It’s not supposed to be niche or indie or moral or make some kind of deep and intellectual statement. It’s there to make money. Pop is what it is; disposable music useful to shake your ass to, to make you feel stupidly happy and to sing to in the shower. With lyrics like “lucky my breasts are small and humble so you don’t confuse them with mountains” we’re not heading for poet laureate status here. But if the beat is tight we will dance all night. And that, my friends, is all that matters about pop.

Now, if pop is disposable, trashy and shamelessly sexual in order to sell more records and holds nothing sacred…then why try being anything less? That is why Lady Gaga is such an inpiration

I mean LOOK AT HER. She’s like slut Barbie. It’s like industry needed a polythene cut-out money horse and came up with this! And if you’re already that plastic, hell, why not go ALL THE WAY! I want pop stars to be even MORE shameless, even MORE provocative, even MORE fake and open about the fakery that is their music.

Hell, I want their voices so synthesized they’d make Richard Hawking sound natural. I want them wrapped in plastic and ****ting out money. I want them rolling around in corporate ****. I want Enrique Iglesias bent over and taking it from his record producer while he simultaneously chokes out dollars and cents like poker chips and sings “I can be your Hero.” I want Britney Spears dry-humping my television screen. I want it and I want it on my MTV every second of every day.

The beauty is, when I don’t want to listen to it anymore, I can just put in my ipod and listen to my alternative music. That’s what it’s there for…TO BE AN ALTERNATIVE. Just don’t think it exempts you from the system or any kind of conformity