Trollheart

Introduction: A new hope of striking back for revenge

I: Some time ago, and quite distant from here…

I’m just going to assume that every living being on this planet, indeed in this galaxy knows the plot lines of the first three movies. If you don’t, well then I really can’t help you. So I’m not going to go over them. However I will talk about the movies in more general terms. While it’s true to say that Star Wars (I’m not going to call it A New Hope: for the purposes of this journal Star Wars will refer to the first movie as well as the actual franchise) was a groundbreaking movie, it’s in some ways a little hard to call it a real trailblazer, as it built on so many tropes that had been used before, not only in science fiction. I guess the main thing it did was introduce, as I mentioned above, a sense of fun into science fiction, which had up till then been a very serious business. It’s also perhaps - I’d have to check - the first science fiction movie that really doesn’t bother itself too much about actual science. Nobody worries about how hyperspace works, or the engines that drive the X-Wings. Nobody asks what exactly a lightsaber is, or how the droids are put together? Put simply, nobody cares. Star Wars, at its heart, both movie and franchise is, or was, all about escapism and having a good time. It’s far more a fantasy/adventure story that just happens to be set in space than a “hard” science fiction one.

It was also, I believe, the first science fiction trilogy, (at least, I don’t remember any before it) and therefore the first to follow the hero and his companions through successive movies. Now, I could not say with any certainty it was the first trilogy per se, but even so I kind of think it was. Either way, almost certainly the first one in the science fiction sphere, so that was a new thing. It gave a starring role to essentially a kid, which was also unusual, and made stars of most of its cast. It used old fantasy tropes of good versus evil, and I’m certainly not the first to remark on its similarities to, and usage of themes from, the legend of King Arthur and of course The Lord of the Rings. Hell, when Luke Skywalker rescues Princess Leia from the cell on the Death Star, not only is he a knight in literally shining armour - as he’s wearing a white Stormtrooper uniform - with a space-age equivalent of a horse waiting, (or at least a Falcon!) but he is armed with a fucking sword!

Lucas seems to have been the first to consider the idea of his heroes using swords in the future (yes, yes I know, but you get the idea). Every other science fiction movie - and series - up to then had the characters armed, if they were armed, with everything from lasers and phasers to blasters and zap guns. Swords were seen, by most writers (can’t speak for those in literature, but certainly on the big and small screen) as archaic, belonging to an older time, not in step with the future, and not anything their heroes would be using. But Lucas made the case, through Obi-Wan Kenobi, for the lightsaber very well. The old Jedi says “anyone can use a blaster, but a lightsaber takes skill and finesse.” That’s not an actual quote, but you know the one, and the implication is of course that in order to use a lightsaber, like a knight of old, a man (or woman) had to have certain skill and discipline. So the lightsaber became a symbol almost of class, the weapon of choice for those who were the more skilled fighters, the true galactic aristocracy, or as one of the games based on the series would have it, the Knights of the Old Republic.

I think it may be fair also to credit Lucas with the usage of hyperspace in movies. Yes, Star Trek had warp speed, but the actual mechanics of how the Enterprise got from one point to another were never explained. 2001 showed us a sort of hyperspace sequence in the “Jupiter and Beyond the Infinite” section, but Star Wars was the first to actually take us into hyperspace and show us what it was like. It’s possible too that the movie was the first to pioneer, or at least popularise, the phrase "light speed", though Lucas didn’t always get it right, as we know from the extremely embarrassing speech by Han Solo, where he mixes up parsecs as a measure of time rather than distance. The attempts to “explain” this later on only made it worse, as the writer, producer and other commentators dug themselves in deeper; they should just have admitted, sorry we got it wrong, and left it at that.

But these elements aside, basically Star Wars was nothing really new. It was Errol Flynn, but in space rather than on the Spanish Main. It was Arthur and Lancelot, but on the Death Star instead of in Camelot. And it was, to some degree also, John Wayne fighting off the Indians and saving the girl. It was, to put it bluntly, every adventure movie you’ve ever seen, just transported to space. But it worked for one reason really, and that was that it was the first time this had been done. Science fiction movies up to then had concentrated on either dystopian futures or bleak alien planets, exploration and invasion. Nobody had ever thought you could have fun with the premise. But Lucas did.

Now, I’m not going to pretend I’m privy to the man’s thoughts, and knew what he intended, how his movie came about, if it achieved all he set out to or changed radically, or if the success was too much for him. All that I could find by researching, but I won’t, because I don’t care, and I’m sure others have done it much better than I. The point is the impact Star Wars had on the movie-going public, on youth and on science fiction. Really, it’s no exaggeration that none of the three would ever be the same again. Kids were now growing up wanting to be Jedi warriors, there was a reawakened interest in robots (which had been all but completely absent prior to this - can you think of one significant robot or android character in film before Star Wars? What? Robbie the Robot? Do me a favour!) and later adults would unashamedly attend conventions and collect figures, videos, posters and other memorabilia in a way nobody had other than Trekkies.

Hollywood noticed, sitting up and blinking in the darkness, and movies which had been unable to even get a second look were suddenly being screamed for and inspected with interest, probably. Without question, the idea of science fiction in film, as a major earner and a for a mainstream audience, was born in 1977 with the success of Star Wars. Witness the popularity of such “soft” science fiction blockbusters as the Back to the Future trilogy, Tron or Independence Day. Sure, these are different movies in tone and scope than Star Wars, but would any of them have been greenlit without its success? Given the, at the time, thinking prevalent about science fiction movies among producers, I venture to say they would not. Of course, some other science fiction blockbuster could have led the way, but was there ever anything quite like Star Wars in science fiction?

The Matrix, Terminator, Robocop, even the Star Trek movies all owe a debt of gratitude to Star Wars, a movie which took the conventions of what was accepted as a science fiction movie and went “Nah”. A movie that dared to look beyond the dark, often sterile, doomy and quite frequently baffling nature of science fiction movies up to then, a movie which catered not only to kids or geeks, but to everyone - or perhaps it might be fairer and more accurate to say, to the kid or geek in all of us, however well hidden or denied - and dared to show them that science fiction could be enjoyable, that you didn't need a degree in quantum physics to understand it - that in this case, you didn't’ even have to understand it! - and that you could have a really good time with the kids, or on your own, or with mates, watching a movie that took you out of yourself, said forget about the factory, the school or the union boss, and just let yourself go. Listen, let me tell you a story. No, not once upon a time: a long long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

And none of them are as good as the Thrawn Trilogy or the X-Wing series. You are straight up wasting your time filling up your head with the JJ Abrams movies when you could be reading Vector Prime or at least getting a laugh out of the sheer terribleness of The Crystal Star.

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Trollheart

Maybe, and if this were my only journal I might think about it, but a book takes a lot longer to read and process than a movie does to watch. Anyway, the idea is to see how the, let's say, screen has dealt with the franchise, so no, it will be movies and TV series only. There's more than enough there. Let's see. Good or bad we have

11 movies (3 of which I've seen and know well, so let's say
8
then
7 seasons of animated shows totally 312 episodes
7 seasons of animated "micro-shows"? with another 160 episodes
2 seasons of The Mandolin I mean Mandalorian with 16 episodes
2 season of The Book of Boba Fett with 7 episodes
and
Obi-Wan, just started, 4 episodes at time of writing

Total 8 movies plus almost 500 episodes

If that's not enough work to be getting on with you need to rethink your idea of work!

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

rubber soul

Don't hold your breath. He won't even review all the Simpsons episodes

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Trollheart

I would if you would share the secret of immortality you've found. Very selfish. Where is that fountain of youth, anyway?

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

rubber soul

I would but right now I'm busy saying bad things about Millard Fillmore

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The Batlord

Bro just give Heir to the Empire a chapter or two and see if you're into it.

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music_collector

I find myself going back to the animated series of late. Rebels and Clone Wars were well done. The story telling was great. Bad Batch was also very well done.

I like what they're doing with the newer series.

Trollheart

II: Old Friends and Family Reunions

The second movie showed us Luke growing up. Yes, you can say that he had to grow up real fast once those Stormtroopers came calling, and reduced his aunt and uncle to a Kentucky Fried consistency, but really, throughout Star Wars he’s a wide-eyed kid, taking his first steps in the great big galaxy, hero-worshipping Han Solo, falling in love with Leia (oh dear; we all know where that leads, don’t we?) and taking on the bad guys. By the end of the movie he’s the hero and all is well with the world. To some extent, Star Wars could be taken as a self-contained movie, and can be, if you wish, viewed as one. Local kid finds himself in space, takes on the empire, beats them and blows up their big bad space station, wins the girl. Although of course, not actually. But as a standalone movie, hell, it works.

But then of course, while Star Wars is not about reality, it’s not total fantasy either, and while the Death Star may be destroyed, it can, somewhat like a popular space astronaut in the same decade, be rebuilt, though probably for a lot more than six million dollars. So the menace is back: somewhat like Jason or Michael Myers or Trump, or any bad guy you can think of who just won’t stay dead, the Death Star (minus Governor Tarkin, last seen stroking his chin in classic evil genius pose before it all went spectacularly tits-up) is back, and so - sigh! - the rebels have to go through it all again. But that’s for the third movie, which we’ll come to. For now, it’s more a case of hit-and-run, as the rebels leg it from their latest base, Yavin having proven too hot to go back to, and the Empire, poor sportsmen that they are, in full pursuit.

Look, I don’t know about you, but the one glaring (pun very much intended) memory I have of The Empire Strikes Back is this: “Oh my fucking EYES! Why is everything so WHITE?” Well, of course it was all white because the rebels chose an ice world, for some reason, on which to set up shop, perhaps in the belief that Vader would never think of looking there. I mean, all that white would surely clash with his tasteful black armour, no? Well, no: fashion faux pas aside, the Dark Lord of the Sith certainly did go after them, and rather downbeat in a way, the rebels are defeated and must beat a hasty retreat from Hathor.

But the white!

For surely about twenty minutes of the movie (which to me seemed an hour) your eyes are assaulted by glaring, blinding white - snow is everywhere. Ice is everywhere. Fucking white stormtroopers are everywhere. It cuts the eyes out of you - or at least, it did me: like staring too long at the sun, my eyes were forced to squint. And then, when, mercifully for me, the rebels are routed, the sudden contrast of pure black in deep space is so jarring that I could still see the bright white surface of Hathor superimposed on space for a while. It did a lot to ruin the opening sections of the movie. For me, anyway.

But while a lot of people laud TESB, personally I have some issues with it, not least the annoying glare. It takes itself a little too seriously. We get mysticism, self-exploration, almost a vision quest for Luke, and the action divides between he and R2D2, as they head to Dagobah to find Yoda, and the rest of them, who end up with their heads (and bodies) in the clouds, in the lazily-named Cloud City. Look, there’s no doubting the two sections of the movie dovetail quite beautifully at the end, and that next-to-last scene, after Luke falls into the chute and improbably ends up holding onto an upside-down flagpole (what’s it there for? Who’s going to bother risking their lives, or flying up there, to run up a flag that’s the wrong way around?) and is saved just as he falls by the Millennium Falcon, is a thing of beauty.

And who can fault the confrontation between Luke and Vader, with the - at the time - galaxy-shaking revelation of their relationship? This was originally in an era when something like the internet wasn’t even thought of, much less in use, and so there really was no way for the secret to leak, so I doubt anyone really knew what was going to be revealed, and I think we were all gobsmacked. The scene of course gave us a future pop culture reference: "[insert name here] I am your father!” Right. And the fight between the two of them? As the skinny jerk who always argues with the big tub of lard once said, mmm! Classic movie history.

But does the movie itself try to do too much? Star Wars had a lot of moving parts, but they were all moving in the one direction: a final (we thought) confrontation with the Death Star and Darth Vader, and the realisation of the destiny of a young boy who was to become a Jedi knight. This one? I don’t know. There are subplots - there’s Han being frozen, Lando betraying them for some reason (money I guess) and Luke, um, fighting himself in a cave. A bit existential for the kids, which is why I think Lucas had figured out by now that his movie was appealing more to adults than kids, so he could go a bit more cerebral with it.

Empire does make some telling observations: it ain’t necessarily over when the fat lady sings (or in this case, the fat space station blows), enemies don’t give up as long as they’re live enemies, and sometimes, splitting up is not the best idea. I personally could live without all the bullshit Jedi training in the swamp - all it was missing was a montage and an eighties AOR affirmation tune such as Starship’s “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” or Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” - and I may be in the minority here, but my Star Wars world could stand without Yoda in it. Don’t like the little guy, and other than playing the role of sensei to Luke, what does the little fucker do? Yes, he has a lightsaber fight in I think Attack of the Clones, but (so far) that’s been about it. Damn muppet. Literally.

But of course this was three years later, everyone was salivating for the follow-up movie, and the box office returns proved there was an appetite for more Star Wars, with Empire making back almost twenty times its already considerable budget, pushing the revenues to almost half a billion dollars. Not bad for 1980! It’s a far cry, though, from the original, which made over seventy times its much smaller budget, but a lot better than its successor, which only managed a paltry tenfold return on a budget that was very similar to Empire. Hmm. Is it possible that by the time the original trilogy wrapped, people had had enough of Star Wars? Well, there was a gap of sixteen years between Return of the Jedi and the first of the “prequel” trilogy, The Phantom Menace, so you know, maybe. By now, perhaps other science fiction movies had picked up the baton and run with it, and left the original far behind.

This wouldn’t of course stop it becoming one of the biggest and most profitable and well-known franchises in film history, and there can hardly be a kid or adult alive now who had not a figure, bedspread, poster, toy lightsaber, model Millennium Falcon or some merchandise from the movies. It’s as ingrained in the human consciousness now, and as much a part of human culture and history as, well, as James Bond, or The Magnificent Seven, or any movies you care to name. It may have been, today, a long long time ago but it is never going to go far, far away again.

Another interesting thing about Empire is the reduced role in it for Leia. Well, I say reduced: she didn’t exactly have a lot to do in Star Wars, beyond stand with a blaster in her hand and proclaim she was not just a damsel in distress, while unable to avoid the very clear fact that that is exactly what she was. After an initial snarl at her would-be rescuers, she pretty much fades into the background of Star Wars, until she’s there smiling at her heroes as they’re awarded their medals for being Really Great Heroes (sorry we never had any Really Great Heroine medals made; just didn’t seem any point and it would have cost extra, besides, what did you do, Your Highness?). I mean, let’s be fair here: Lucas does not exactly fly the flag for women in the, um, past (when is this set? Does anyone know? Does he?) - well, in space then. It’s pretty much lipservice when we meet Leia, but she’s more or less pushed into a corner and told to stand there and look pretty for the majority of the movie.

And in Empire. Well. Can anyone remember what she does? I mean, I know she goes with Han and Chewy to Cloud City, I know she sees Han encased in Carbonite (we always thought he was cool enough, to be honest) but, you know, what does she do? Not a lot. And the next movie is no kinder to her. So really, when it gets down to it, Star Wars - at least, the first and original trilogy - is really a boys’ adventure tale, with some girl tagging along and getting in the way, having to be rescued - twice - and just, well, being a girl in the end. Damn women. Also, as was caustically pointed out in Family Guy, she is, if not the only woman in the galaxy, one of a very few. I can’t remember any others, apart from the smoking skeleton of Aunt Baru, and let’s face it, there’s not much sex appeal or girl power in a charred pile of bones, is there? I can only assume later movies addressed this, but for a period from 1977 to 1983, women are pretty much conspicuous by their absence, other than Leia. And in the third movie she’s in chains. I mean, how much more pointed could the irony be?

You definitely have to give Empire continuity points though. Whereas, as I said, Star Wars could be watched as a one-shot deal, you certainly could not do that with Empire. Possibly the first movie, certainly the first science fiction movie to end on a cliffhanger, or at the very least with loose ends trailing from the fleet like the tendrils of a jellyfish as the movie ends, you couldn’t help but want to see what happens next. So the scene is set for the third and final movie in the trilogy, and the wrapping up of the story.

Like I said in the previous entry, Star Wars was the first science fiction movie to showcase robots as other than just machines that did work and nothing else, or as comic relief. Certainly, the relationship between R2D2 and C3PO, skillfully handled by both actors and the writer, in a way that should not have been possible (one of them only emits indecipherable beeps, for god’s sake! How did we come to love him?) is something of an Odd Couple/Laurel and Hardy deal, mostly thanks to Anthony Daniels’ fussy, English-butler-style manner (something Family Guy called, unkindly but hilariously accurately, the gay robots of Star Wars) that makes us laugh and grow to love them. But it’s more than that.

They’re agents of the plot. It’s the message recorded on R2 that alerts Luke, a farmboy dreaming of adventure in space, to the presence both of the “beautiful” (I’ll agree to disagree with you there, young Skywalker!) Princess Leia and the mysterious Obi-Wan Kenobi, whom he knows only as Ben. Without these droids (these are the droids you’re looking for) the story would not exist. As it proceeds, through three movies, R2 and Threepio are an integral part of it, and it really would not be the same without them. When the stupid little metal barrel gets damaged in one of the fights while in Luke’s X-Wing, we worry for him, and Luke himself shows his affection for the tub of circuits when, offered a replacement for the “beat-up R2 unit”, he refuses, saying he and this one have been through a lot.

Even the word we now use often for robots, “droids”, comes from Star Wars, where Lucas clearly wanted them to be thought of as more than just machines or automatons, and robots would not cut it. But to be fair, and annoyingly so, they’re not. At least, R2 is not. Droid being short for android of course, this refers to a robot with a humanoid appearance, such as Data in Star Trek, or Kryten in Red Dwarf. Nobody could say R2D2 looks human. But that’s beside the point: for Lucas, droids referred to any robot, and so it was written into science fiction lore.

One character I have never had time for - with respect to the late Peter Mayhew, and no slight meant on his acting - is Chewbacca. Other than roar and look threatening, what is his role in the movies? Is there a single scene, other than maybe the one where he’s playing chess with R2D2, from which he could be removed and that scene suffer, or not work? I find him totally superfluous, and I get that Lucas wanted an alien co-pilot and friend for Han Solo, but I nevr thought they explored the relationship between the two in enough, or even any, detail for me to warm to the Wookie. We never even found out how the two got together (though maybe the later film, Solo, covers that?) and to me, he was, to quote an annoyed Leia in the first movie, a big walking carpet, who did nothing and contributed nothing to the movies. Any of them. And yet the fucker got a medal! Well, I guess he did fight alongside them. And who’s going to tell a seven-foot Wookie he can’t have a medal? But as a character, for me, just did not work. Definitely my least favourite. Until the horrific advent of Jar-Jar Binks, of course.

In fact, when you think about it, over three movies (which should be enough time for anyone to write a decent backstory) we get hardly any character development. Yes, Luke learns what it is to be a Jedi - sort of - and Han realises there’s more to life than money - maybe - but if you look at the characters in Star Wars and compare them to those in Return of the Jedi there’s not a lot of difference. You can recognise them as the same people, and even though they’ve been through adventures together, suffered and triumphed together, and blown up the Death Star together (twice!) there’s really no massive change that I can see. So you kind of have to ask yourself, what did they learn?

But more to the point, what did we learn? Taking, of course, only the first three movies as our base, what are we told about Han Solo? Leia? The droids even? Vader? Kenobi? Surely somewhere along the way there would have been time for someone to at least hint at their life story? Why did Solo become a space pirate? What planet does he, or did he, call home? What about Leia’s family? Does she even mourn them, other than one short scene after Alderaan does a very good impersonation of a bunch of floating cinders? And how does the daughter of the emperor’s chief enforcer end up living the high life with a royal family that hates his guts on another planet?

So many questions, and maybe some are answered in the later movies, but that’s beside the point. If the first trilogy had been all we ever heard of the franchise, if the prequel movies had not been made, we would be in the dark about these characters we have come to love, seeing them only as the barest sketches of the people they are. Even so, it appears that’s where they’re left, for at least thirty years, as the next movies go back even a longer, longer time ago, to tell us the prehistory of some of the other characters, and Luke, Leia and Han appear to have been forgotten about, done with.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

It''s been a long time ago and I've been far away (shut up) so let's wrap this movie up and get on to the third.

Okay then: got your sunglasses? Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you - we’re going in!

Although there’s not a space battle going on, this is still the second of the movies to open with a shot of space, downward camera to show an imperial star destroyer, albeit coming towards the camera instead of going away from it, but really: couldn’t Lucas come up with a different opening? And is there some irony in a world that is covered in ice being called Hoth? Well we’re into action straight away as Luke is the main course for some version of the abominable snowman and Han decides to make that exit he had delayed to help wipe out the Death Star, but as usual there’s something stopping him. I mean, it’s one thing or another isn’t it? Either a megalomaniac is threatening to destroy the Alliance, someone has encased him in carbonite or Luke has gone missing. How’s a guy expected to go pay his debts and get that price off his head?

Good to see there’s realism in the fact that Leia and Han have not just settled down to raise little space pirates; she’s pissed at him for leaving and he’s pissed at her for refusing to acknowledge her feelings for him. Hey, what is it with Lucas and severed arms? Vader loses one, Luke loses one, the guy in the cantina, now the abominable snowman. Even C3PO lost one of his. Is it some sort of fetish of his? Does nobody cut off legs or heads anymore? And now it’s time for Alec to earn his wages by putting in another ghostly appearance. I swear, agents: once they have you on contract… I find this one a little more visceral than the previous, perhaps proof that Lucas believed his movies were appealing more to adults than kids. The cutting open of the belly of the beast Luke was riding and his being put inside it is, well, yuck. Interesting how Han has been demoted from general back to captain. Maybe that’s because he’s now about to leave, and his Alliance rank only applies while he’s under their command?

Well it’s time to evacuate once more. Must suck to be a kid of one of these rebels, always moving, always on the run, never a chance to settle down. Ah, the life of a rebel scum huh? Those new uniforms the stormtroopers have for snow work are damned scary: make them look just like members of the KKK! Well I see one woman operating a communications console in the rebel base - typical! Only work available for the girls is to answer the phone! - but so far I don’t believe I’ve seen one single female in the entire imperial army! Not one! What is this? A boys only club? Suppose it saves on those specially-made breastplates...

This is the first time we see the ground assault troops, with walkers and AT-ATs, which kind of helps to underline how damned powerful the empire is. It also makes a clear distinction between the men (and occasional woman) of the Alliance and the machines of the empire. A trip through an asteroid field provides more scope for the many video and computer games that were to follow, but there’s time for a little humour when they accidentally land on a living organism, taking it for an asteroid. Meanwhile it’s time to slow everything down and bore everyone with the unwanted introduction of a muppet. Damn Yoda. This is a little like the later scene with the Architect in one of the Matrix movies - was it the third one? Interestingly though, there are parallels between the two scenes, the big monster in the swamp with Luke and R2D2 and the strange monster in the asteroid with Han, Leia, C3PO and Chewie.

Looks like this is the first time we see the emperor, the guy who runs things, and the only person who has any sort of command or control over Vader. A third mention of “I have a bad feeling about this”, coming from Leia this time, so now all we need is Luke to say it and we have every character - who can speak or at least whose speech can be understood - having voiced that opinion. Meanwhile, back at the swamp it’s gone all existential, as Luke seems to battle Vader but finds it’s himself he’s fighting, a foreshadowing, did we but know it at the time, of the relationship between the two.

Time to bring on the one black man in the Star Wars universe. Of course, being a black man he’s immediately “where the white women at?” And not to be trusted. That’s established pretty quickly, when he hands the heroes over to Vader. No choice, my ass. Time for Han to experience the big freeze. Quite surprising how Lando expected Vader to keep his word, after all, what leverage has the guy got? Now that the Dark Lord has what he wants, what’s to stop him destroying Cloud City if he wants to? Idiot. And now, the classic, iconic confrontation between Vader and Luke, and the revelation to shake all revelations since, well, maybe the end of Planet of the Apes. Ah, the world before the internet, huh?

So then we have the classic split as the heroes undertake two missions, and the first time, as I say, at least in my experience, when a movie ends, not only on an almost literal cliffhanger, but continues into the next one. This would of course become standard for this genre, and others, as time went on, but TESB set the precedent, and after this all the other movie writers could do was follow the trail Lucas blazed across the galaxy and through motion picture and science fiction history.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018